Not content with the £5.1 billion television rights deal signed by the Premier League a day earlier, Newcastle defender Fabricio Coloccini displayed the pure, unadulterated greed of the modern footballer by making a coin fly from the hand of a supporter at Selhurst Park, just as they were distracted by their own blinding fit of rage, and directly at his face.

Newcastle provoked unsuspecting Crystal Palace fans by insensitively celebrating Papiss Cisse’s 42nd minute goal in the 1-1 draw. And even more galling, Newcastle caretaker manager John Carver had the audacity to claim that Coloccini was the victim in his fleecing of this poor, unfortunate supporter.

From the BBC:

“It misses Colo’s eye by an inch – another inch and it could blind him,” Carver said.

“It has got to be taken out of the game.”

Yes, John Carver. The Premier League’s greed should be taken out of the game and Palace fans have been vocally protesting this cruel treatment of the people who truly make football great (those who have coins stolen from their rapidly moving arms and the bystanders around them who are too paralyzed with fear to do anything about it).

This is why people are against modern football. The Premier League simply will not be satisfied until every fan who somehow manages to afford entry into a match throws whatever coins they have left at the players, who will then laugh all the way to the bank…after a quick pitstop at a nearby hospital to treat their many painful coin wounds. These spoiled footballers are just the worst.