Manchester United have announced the signing of goalkeeper Sergio Romero and something seems very wrong. Is that the look of a man who is happy to join a great club like Man United or someone in mortal danger?

But that’s just one picture. Maybe we’re jumping to conclusions here. Let’s see another…

Oh god. Someone notify Liam Neeson. This isn’t good. But, again, maybe he’s just one of those people who doesn’t know what to do when he’s having his picture taken. Third time’s the charm!

No. No no no no no no no. Why is he holding the shirt like that? Is that some kind of signal?! Where are they holding you, Sergio? Did they torture you below the waist?! Why can’t you bend your fingers?!?! This is awful.

You can’t fool us, Van Gaal! Squeezing that poor guy’s hand to make him wince until it looks like a smile. And why is he wearing a white shirt all of the sudden? This is all wrong. I don’t know what’s going on here, but Sergio Romero needs to be saved before he ends up like Victor Valdes.