Even when you manage to prevent Robert Lewandowski from scoring for an entire half hour, you still have to get one past Manuel Neuer to take a lead against Bayern Munich. Which is like asking someone to prevent all human suffering and then discover the meaning of life in order to win three points.

If Theo Walcott sues Neuer for doing this to him, he’d probably win a sizable compensation. Walcott can be thankful that at least he didn’t get reduced to a pile of dust like Douglas Costa did to Hector Bellerin…

RIP Hector. Jerome Boateng will greet you at the gates of Champions League heaven.

Of course, Arsenal went on to recover from all of this and win 2-0 against mighty Bayern because that’s exactly what they would do after losing their first two Champions League matches.