Two days after getting thumped 4-0 at home to Barcelona, Real Madrid president Florentino Perez called a press conference just to announce that manager Rafa Benitez hasn’t been sacked and share a few conspiracy theories. In other words, Rafa’s days are numbered. And maybe Perez’s too.

As if the dreaded vote of confidence wasn’t bad enough, Perez also referred to Benitez as “the chosen one” — a poisoned moniker that didn’t work out so well for David Moyes at Manchester United.

From the Guardian:

“I understand that the fans are upset about Saturday but we think now is the time to keep working with rigour, serenity and the unity of everyone,” he said. “Rafa Benítez has all our support and all our confidence. He was chosen because of his professionalism and his experience. He has the proven ability to get the best of this squad that had declined from January. Rafa has just started his work; let him work.”

Pérez added: “Until the last two weeks of the league we were unbeaten and sharing the leadership of the league, despite numerous injuries suffered at the start of the season.”

And just in case anyone was unsure whether this was all desperate opposite talk or not, Perez’s subconscious helpfully confirmed it.

Florentino’s Freudian slip: “yo miento, digo..” – “I lie.. I mean… what I want to say is …” pic.twitter.com/EbE1cYWwoZ

— AS English (@English_AS) November 23, 2015

Not content to just supply quotes that will be used to fill out the reports on his inevitable sacking, Perez also went full Mourinho and revealed a conspiracy against both him and Real Madrid.

Playing the victim, the vast majority of the time and the energy he expended was spent attacking the media, claiming there was a campaign against him and the club, insisting the media have made “destabilising” Madrid their “raison d’être”, and talking about dark desires to “control” the club.

Time and again Pérez returned to the same word: “destabilise”. “All this stuff people say is just to destabilise us. And it’s every day. And there will be some naive people who believe that,” he said. “I have to come out and tell them that it is lies. It’s terrible [and] it’s daily. Some people’s raison d’être is to destabilise us: they try to undermine the stability of this club and I will not allow it.”

So it’s basically a race to see whether Perez or Benitez will be ousted first. Or maybe they’ll both stay and Cristiano Ronaldo will escape? Who knows. But it’s clear Real Madrid will give us all the gift of entertainment this holiday season.