Scoring a record 11 goals in the Champions League group stage apparently does something to a man. It frees him of any verbal filter he might have, allowing him to say anything he wants, no matter how vain, adorable, or insane it may sound.

Cristiano Ronaldo first demonstrated this when he said “I don’t seek out records, records seek me out.” That doesn’t even make sense.

But he wasn’t done there. On the subject of former Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti, he said (via ESPN FC):

“Mr. Ancelotti was an unbelievable surprise. In the beginning I though he was more a tough person, more… kind of arrogant , and it was the opposite,” Ronaldo told ESPN.

“He’s like a big bear, I can say. He’s a cute guy, such a sensitive person. He spoke with us every day. Not just with me but with all the players. He had fun with us.”

Carlo Ancelotti is a big cute bear. This is undeniably true. It’s also a clear shot at current Real Madrid manager Rafa Benitez, who looks even more like a big bear, but has never been deemed cute by Ronaldo.

Finally, Cristiano went as far as he could possibly go and entertained the possibility of a move to Barcelona. From the Guardian:

“It’s a little more difficult, but …,” he said, with a long pause, not dismissing the possibility.

“There are things that you kind of already have an idea, that to play one day for Barcelona would be almost impossible, or to play for another English club other than Manchester, it’s very complicated,” he said. “But that’s not 100% guaranteed. As I said before, there are no certainties in football.”

Now, Cristiano is constantly asked where he might play next and he’s listed just about every place on earth already, so this might just be evidence of him finally running out of real places to name before he moves on to the likes of Harchester United and the International Space Station Premier League.

Still, this is a delightfully insane combination of words coming from Real Madrid’s all-time leading scorer. I really don’t know what’s happened to Ronaldo, but I like it. I like it a lot.