Barcelona were eliminated from the Champions League by Atletico Madrid for the second time in three years and have now lost three of their last four matches. This has prompted an all too familiar round of “BARCELONA IN TROUBLE” alarmism that past experience has proven is rarely warranted. So how is one to tell when we’re actually in the midst of a true Barcapocalypse? Here’s a handy guide…
Failing to become the first club to ever win the Champions League in back to back seasons: Not in crisis.
Losing three of four matches after going unbeaten in 39: Not in crisis.
Only having a three-point lead atop La Liga: Not in crisis.
Being in the Copa del Rey final: Not in crisis.
Messi going five consecutive matches without scoring: Not in crisis.
Media publishing a fresh round of “Barcelona are collapsing” clickbait: Not in crisis.
Messi actively choking on a Lego piece: In crisis.
Gerard Pique deactivating his Twitter account: In crisis.
Barcelona’s only trophy over a two-season stretch is a fair play award for Luis Suarez: In crisis.
Barcelona falling into the relegation zone in April: In crisis.
Experts unanimously degrading Barca’s valuation from “more than a club” to “equal to or less than a club”: In crisis.
Jose Mourinho taking control of La Masia: In crisis.
The seven plagues are focused solely over the Camp Nou: In crisis.
Dani Alves wearing something understated and normal: In crisis.
Well, you’re making me feel better. Walking around in a Barca jersey after the Atleti game made me a mark for comments, although the Benfica fan and I commiserated in our despair. But bite your tongue about Jose Mourinho. I can’t even take the thought of it.
Fantastic as usual Brooks!
Even a whisper of JM taking over at Barca sends cold chills down my spine. Not even funny; sort of like the TRUMPet being elected US President. The rest is very amusing, thanks.
“Dani Alves wearing something understated and normal” lol. Or maybe Pique not wearing his chainmail outfit.
In light of Passover coming up, did you mean the 10 plagues?
Otherwise Awesome as always!
Oh wow that degrading Barca’s valuation was probably the best line I’ve read all week.
Crisis ! Barcelona ! They are almighty Barcelona , there can’t be any crisis . All are media invention .