Mario “Reformed Judas” Götze has completed his move back to Borussia Dortmund from Bayern Munich and the club seems to be using these first few days to try and break him down.

“This isn’t an actual medical test, it’s just part of his punishment.”

“It’s been three hours…can I put these down now?!”

“Say ‘betrayal’!”

“But at Bayern…”

“I don’t care what they do at Bayern, Mario. I don’t.”

“Seriously, guys, I have to go to the bathroom…”

“Say ‘Pep’ one more time, Mario, and I’m sending you back to sit on Ancelotti’s bench all season.”