Employee: Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order?

Allardyce: Hello, I’m the new England manager.

Employee: Sam Allardyce?

Allardyce: Yes. Now, since you lot sponsor The FA, I take it I’m entitled to free meals here whenever I like.

Employee: Uhh….I don’t think that’s how it works.

Allardyce: I’ll have a Big Sam.

Employee: You mean a Big Mac?

Allardyce: No, a Big Sam. It’s a Big Mac with extra burgers in place of the bread, no lettuce, extra pickles and a large cup filled with the Big Mac sauce so I can drink it like a milkshake.

Employee: I’ll have to see if we can do that…

Allardyce: Oh, and when I drive around to the next window, have a camera ready.

Employee: Why?

Allardyce: So you can take a picture of me hanging out the window like Harry Redknapp. You can put it up on Tinder and get a million Facebook hits.

Employee: I think I should get my manager.

Allardyce: You do that. Tell him I’d like to have a word with him England manager to McDonald’s manager.

Employee: Do I have to say that last part?

Allardyce: Yes.

Employee: (sighs) Just a moment. I’ll get Mr. Hodgson.

Allardyce: Mr. Hodgson? Roy Hodgson? Roy Hodgson is the manager of this McDonald’s now?

Employee: Yes. He said that after having Harry Kane take set pieces at the Euros, this was the only thing anyone would let him manage.

Allardyce: I didn’t ask for his life story. Now get that camera ready — this isn’t the only McDonald’s I plan to visit today.