DT Exclusive: Gerard Pique’s attempt to convince Neymar to stay at Barcelona

The transcript of a misunderstanding between teammates

(Gerard Pique/Twitter)

Unofficial Barcelona president Gerard Pique recently inserted himself into the ongoing Neymar-PSG transfer saga first by tweeting a photo of himself with the Brazilian with the caption “He stays,” then by clarifying that his declaration was just based on “intuition.” The following is a transcript of a conversation between the two that led to this confusion.

Pique: Neymar, we have to talk. As the Chief Brand Partnership Playing and Social Media Executive of this club, I feel it is my duty to convince you to stay. And I will do that by singing Shakira songs until you come to your senses. WAKA WAKA HEY HEY

Neymar: Hey, hey, hey—I haven’t decided anything yet. You can stop.

Pique: TODAY’S YOUR DAY, I FEEL IT, YOU PAVED THE WAY, BELIEVE IT

Neymar: Ok, ok, stop! Look, I’m not really leaving. I’m just trying to scare the club a bit so they give me more money and maybe bring my friend Coutinho here. But don’t tell anyone that, ok?

Pique: Yes! You’re staying? I am so good at business! I’ll tweet the news…

Neymar: What? No, don’t tweet it!

Pique: Too late.

Neymar: Gerard, come on, man. Don’t you remember when Messi did this?

Pique: Did he do an Instagram about it? If not, then no. It’s ok—I’ll just tell the press that “it’s just my intuition that he’ll stay.” That’s good, right?

Neymar: I guess…

Pique: I’ll also tell Liverpool that we’re going to take Coutinho from them just like we did with Suarez and they shouldn’t do anything to try and stop us.

Neymar: Gerard! Don’t do that!

Pique: I already direct messaged their owner…

Neymar: You know what, maybe I will leave for real! I can’t take this!

Pique: Then you leave me no choice…WAKA WAKA HEY HEY