A day after only managing a 1-1 draw against Cologne, Bayern held their annual Oktoberfest celebration. Though new manager Carlo Ancelotti didn’t appear to match former manager Pep Guardiola’s level of drunkenness, he did bring his own eyebrow-arching flair to the event. And now I think I’m drunk off the sight of Ancelotti looking like a Bavarian farmer.
Author: Brooks Peck
Arsenal beat Burnley with last-second, offside handball goal
With mere seconds left to play against Burnley, it looked like Arsenal fans were going to get to celebrate Arsene Wenger’s 20th anniversary with the club by continuing their calls for him to be sacked. But Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Laurent Koscielny and the match officials all did what they could to ensure that Wenger didn’t suffer embarrassment by getting him a 1-0 win with an offside, handball goal at the death.
This is the craziest penalty save I’ve ever seen
Supeeer Jeeeff Bédéniiiik ! #TeamVOC #SuperJeff #TéléfootOuPas ? pic.twitter.com/tErBOxlK5j
— Vannes OC – Officiel (@VocfootOfficiel) October 1, 2016
There have been many penalties saved through luck and many others through skill, but few have combined the two in such extremes as this moment from the French fifth division.
Vannes OC goalkeeper Jean-Francois “Jeff” Bedenik dove the wrong way on a penalty that went off the bar and bounced off his back as he spun around to see where it went. The penalty taker then tried to capitalize on Bedenik’s confusion by heading in the rebound, but the keeper made an incredible kick save from point-blank range, directing the ball to another opponent, who chested the ball right back at him, forcing a second save before a clearance was finally made.
And that’s what happens when luck and skill combine with sheer panic.
Diego Costa displays his mastery of one English word and some jibberish
Second-half goals from Willian and Diego Costa gave Chelsea a 2-0 win over mighty Hull City and left the Blues feeling good after the match. As a result, Eden Hazard did a little work for Chelsea TV, first interviewing Willian, who dedicated his goal to his mother.
After that heartwarming moment, Diego Costa emerged from the dressing room and tried to evade his mic-wielding teammate before demonstrating that he knows the word “beautiful” and can speak in tongues as if possessed by a demon. Which would explain so much.
Harry Redknapp more upset about having to pay for dinner than his players breaking FA rules
It should come as no surprise that the endless fountain of entertainment that is Harry Redknapp has been caught up in The Telegraph’s undercover sting operation uncovering corruption and malfeasance in football. The man whose 2012 tax avoidance trial featured revelations about foreign bank accounts in his dog’s name was caught on video regaling dinner companions with the story of how he once caught his players betting on one of their own matches.
DTotD: Goalkeeper banned four years for viciously kicking opponent in the head
A series of bad decisions has resulted in a goalkeeper receiving a four-year ban from the Chilean Football Association after he brutally kicked an opponent in the head during a third division match. The reason Claudio Abarca kicked Diego Diaz in the head, breaking his jaw in the process, is because Diaz decided to punch him in the balls.
Now, punching people in the balls is a bad idea no matter what the circumstances, but it’s especially bad when you’re already lying on the ground. You don’t want to royally piss someone off while you’re already in that much of a vulnerable position. That doesn’t excuse Abarca for his overzealous retaliation, but it does explain it.
Abarca was arrested by police right then and there. According to ESPN FC, he had to spend a night in jail. Diaz, meanwhile, was taken away on a stretcher and treated at a hospital for his broken jaw.
As awful as this situation was, hopefully it taught these two men that ball punches and head kicks are not good things to do.
This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.
Arsenal give Arsene Wenger a trophy for being manager for 20 years
Arsene Wenger is celebrating 20 years without getting sacked by Arsenal and to mark the achievement, the club presented him with a crystal vase that can occupy the space left by all the trophies Wenger hasn’t won over the last decade.
The FA had to get rid of 4,000 T-shirts that quote Sam Allardyce intended for the next England home match
Sam Allardyce’s scandal induced resignation from his role as England manager has caused collateral damage for the FA in the form of 4,000 T-shirts intended to be handed out during England’s upcoming match against Malta — what would have been Allardyce’s first at Wembley.
Old Trafford pitch invader allowed to run free, touch Zlatan’s hair
An unidentified man came out of the stands and onto the pitch in the 67th minute of Man United 1-0 Europa League win against Zorya. The man wore a full Manchester United kit to try and blend in with the players, but his touches of the ball quickly betrayed that image. Astonishingly, he was still allowed to run around until the end of the match.
After the final whistle, goal scorer Zlatan Ibrahimovic let the clearly envious man touch his hair.
DT Exclusive: Brendan Rodgers’ attempt to become Pep Guardiola’s new best friend
Brendan Rodgers and Celtic broke Pep Guardiola’s perfect record at Man City with a 3-3 draw in the Champions League group stage. The following is a transcript of Rodgers’ conversation with Guardiola after the match.