I don’t know if these are real tourists that this Man City fan channel snarkily guided around the outside of Old Trafford, but it was a clever idea for a video, so I don’t really care. Here’s to hoping rival fan stadium tours become an ongoing thing.
Author: Brooks Peck
Brazilian fans struggling to provide the necessary silence at Paralympic blind football matches
The boisterous support of Brazilian fans usually serves as an advantage to their teams, but for the blind football matches being played at the Paralympics, it’s proving to be a challenge for the players.
Jose Mourinho spies on Pep Guardiola in funny Manchester derby sketch
With Pep Guardiola’s move to Manchester City to resume his eternal battle with Jose Mourinho, Catalan football satire show Crackovia is producing a series about the two rivals as they now share a city. The first episode spoofs the popular Man City YouTube video that had Guardiola sharing a cab with a young ginger fan and features a depiction of Zlatan Ibrahimovic as a Frankenstein’s Monster type character who can only say “Zlatan.”
Pretty good, Crackovia. Pretty, pretty good.
Landon Donovan comes out of retirement after Steven Gerrard jokes about how thankful he is that Landon Donovan retired
Steven Gerrard recently did one of those videos where they put a footballer with a kid and let the adorableness of the interaction hypnotize you into wanting to buy his shirt. But after telling the child that Leicester “crap,” the kid brought up a now interesting topic: Landon Donovan’s retirement.
Qatar National Bank films Xavi’s ultimate fantasy
Noted opinion haver and Al Sadd midfielder Xavi is the star of a commercial for Qatar National Bank and I’m pretty sure he also served as creative director for the project because it depicts the scenario he has always dreamed of: Xavis everywhere.
The ad shows a football match between two teams entirely made up of Xavis, refereed by a Xavi, coached by Xavis, and watched by Xavis. The pitch is perfect. And since everyone in this world is a Xavi, there is universal appreciation for the style of play which Xavi believes is the correct way to play the game. There are no Jose Mourinhos, no pitches that are too wet or too dry — it’s Xavi heaven.
Didier Drogba puts some old man wizard magic on a free kick
In the second minute of Montreal’s match against Orland, Didier Drogba took a free kick and added a bit of wizard magic to it. The ball moved in slow motion and right at the goalkeeper, hypnotizing him into pushing the ball into his own net.
Orlando went on to win 4-1 after Montreal’s goalkeeper was sent off early in the second half, but only because Drogba didn’t feel like stopping time all together and scoring five more times while everyone else was frozen in place.
Dean Saunders regales radio show with fantastical story about Brian Clough (that isn’t true)
Dean Saunders played just one season for Nottingham Forest on the downside of his career, but in 1991, Brain Clough tried to sign him. Saunders shared a colorful version of the story about his encounter with Clough — a brilliant manager who battled alcoholism — on TalkSport and his audience ate it up with a spoon.
Christian Pulisic is a divine being and the end times are upon us
Christian Pulisic became the youngest American to start a World Cup qualifier in the U.S.’s 4-0 win over Trinidad and Tobago. The 17-year-old played the entire match and instead of scoring the fourth goal of his budding international career, he hit both posts with a single shot.
From any other player, this would be nothing more than a curious anomaly. But from Pulisic, it is a clear sign that he possess supernatural powers and that the end times, which can only be brought on by the existence of a truly great American footballer who can withstand a level of hype and expectation that cripples mere mortals, are now upon us.
DTotD: Burkina Faso player punches opponent in the face
During an Africa Cup of Nations qualifier against Botswana, Burkina Faso defender Steeve Yago decided to utilize a highly effective method of defense: punching his opponent in the face. This approach succeeded in getting the Botswana player off the ball. It also got Yago a red card and a knockout, since his victim was carried off on a stretcher.
Burkina Faso won the match 2-1 as two other red cards were shown on the day.
This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.
Leo Messi attempts to reassure fans by making everyone uncomfortable
Lionel Messi scored on his return to international football from non-retirement, but he also aggravated a groin injury that could keep him out of Barcelona’s Champions League opener. In order to calm the fears of his many supporters, Messi posted an image of himself receiving treatment on the injury that undermines his message.