Author: Brooks Peck

DTotD: Gervinho is stomping on people in the Chinese Super League

Gervinho now plays for Hebei China Fortune and he’s making his mark there — namely on the crotches of his opponents. With his side down 1-0 in the 82nd minute, Gervinho had the ball taken off him and then tried to get it back by stomping on the genitals of his downed opponent. His tactic worked, but it also get him sent off. His team went on to lose.

But hey, now he knows you can’t do that in the Chinese Super League, either.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

German player apologizes for reminding Brazil of the “7-1” after Olympic final

(@BILD_sport)
(@BILD_sport)

In the immediate aftermath of Neymar/Brazil beating Germany on penalties in the men’s Olympic final, Robert Bauer held up seven fingers as he walked off the pitch in reference to Germany’s 7-1 win against Brazil at the 2014 World Cup. Naturally, the Brazilian crowd did not appreciate this reminder of the national shame that their first ever Olympic gold in football can’t make up for, but it wasn’t Germany’s only reference to it, either.

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Neymar pays tribute to Usain Bolt, wins Brazil’s first ever Olympic gold in football

Given Brazil’s many footballing embarrassments in recent years, they really, really needed to win their first ever Olympic gold in the sport at the Olympics they are hosting. Neymar was held out of the Copa America Centenario earlier this summer just so he could be fresh for the Olympics and right about now that decision is looking like a good one.

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Paul Pogba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic are already football’s greatest comedy duo

When two superstars with giant personalities are brought together in a new team, there are always concerns about how they will get along both on and off the pitch. Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Paul Pogba have been quick to dispel these concerns at Man United, though. And they’ve already established themselves as football’s greatest comedy team.

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Fans should become paid extras in the Premier League televsion show

With the Premier League expanding to Friday nights this season at the behest of Sky Sports and their £4.2 billion investment, further strain is being put on match-going fans in order to cater to the more lucrative home audience.

On the surface, this makes sense as a business decision. Optimizing the Premier League’s product for the TV money hose that’s funding an influx of talent and international business interest is a logical thing to do. But, as the Guardian points out, this addition of Friday fixtures adds to a growing list of challenges for match-going supporters.

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Real Madrid president wanders streets offering strangers €200 million for any footballer they might own

Prior to Manchester United paying €105 million for Paul Pogba this month, Real Madrid proudly held the previous five world record transfers. Now desperate to reclaim the record, Real Madrid president Florentino Perez has been spotted wandering the streets of major European cities offering random strangers large sums of money in a misguided bid to usurp Man United.

“It was quite strange,” said Daniel Freise of London. “This man I had never seen before came running up to me on my way to work and shouted, ‘I’m Florentino Perez, I’ll give you €200 million for any footballer you have!’ I told him that I don’t have any footballers. I’m an account executive for a kitchenware firm. Then he sighed and went up to someone else and said the same thing. It was unnerving for everyone.”

People in Munich, Paris, Milan, and Barcelona have all reported similar incidents and Real Madrid officials are beginning to worry.

“Mr. Perez disappeared shortly after Man United completed the Pogba signing and no one at the club has heard from him since,” said Real Madrid spokeswoman Mariana Silva. “We tried to reassure him that we would reclaim the world transfer record soon, but he began to hyperventilate and threw money around the office. Then he was gone. Mr. Perez, if you see this, please come back. Everyone is worried about you.”