Author: Brooks Peck

DT Exclusive: Jose Mourinho’s advice for Mario Balotelli

Jose Mourinho has reportedly met with Mario Balotelli in order to help the 26-year-old striker find a new club (that isn’t Man United). Mourinho coached the unwanted Liverpool playing during his initial rise at Inter and though the two butted heads during their time together, an affinity for each other has endured. The following is a transcript of their conversation. 

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Joe Hart hoping to shout in Etihad tunnel one last time before leaving Man City

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Joe Hart is reportedly being forced out of Manchester City by new manager Pep Guardiola after 10 years with the club, but before he goes, the goalkeeper has a final wish he would like to have fulfilled.

“Most players would like to have a testimonial in their honor when they leave a club after this many years,” an emotional Hart told reporters. “But all I would want is to gather my teammates in the tunnel at the Etihad and shout inspirational sentence fragments at them.”

Hart has been a vocal leader for Man City, helping them to two Premier League titles, an FA Cup, and three League Cups while also winning the Premier League golden glove in four of the last six seasons.

“The thought of never again screaming the words ‘ALRIGHT BOYS — AGGRESSIVE!’ or ‘COME ON MANGA AND AGAIN MANGA AND AGAIN!’ in that tunnel even though my teammates are standing close enough to not require speaking that loudly, I…I just…I’m sorry,” Hart said before noisily weeping.

It remains unclear where Hart might end up, but any potential transfer could be complicated by interested clubs needing time to soundproof their home dressing room before his arrival.

“ORGANIZE THESE TEARS, JOE! ORGANIZE THESE TEARS!” he said to himself as journalists moved away from him.

Hart’s wailing set off the fire alarms at Man City’s training complex, but the Greater Manchester Fire Service was quick to respond.

Cristian Tello showed up to his Fiorentina medical wearing an “I heart beer” shirt

Cristian Tello has returned to Fiorentina on loan from Barcelona for the second time and his shirt choice for his arrival was…interesting. “I   beer” might not be the best message for a professional athlete to convey upon arriving at a club and going in for an important medical examination, but Tell doesn’t seem to care about that. Maybe he’s trying to sabotage this whole thing and get himself sent back to Barcelona. Who knows. But what we do know is that he is fond of beer. That much is clear.

Jurgen Klopp regrets giving piggyback rides after Liverpool’s fourth goal against Arsenal

Liverpool came back from 1-0 down to take a 4-1 lead over Arsenal in the 63rd minute of their Premier League opener. As the goals piled up, the excitable Jurgen Klopp couldn’t resist getting in on the celebrations, with Sadio Mané even jumping on his back for a ride after scoring the fourth. The party quickly got out of hand, however, as Arsenal scored twice to make it 4-3 and give Liverpool a scare until the final whistle.

With the benefit of hindsight and reduced adrenaline levels, Klopp realized that he might have overdone it.

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Gary Lineker lives up to his tweet, presents Match of the Day in his underwear

In December of last year, former Leicester striker and current Match of the Day present Gary Lineker made what seemed like a harmless joke about the likelihood of his old club holding onto first place in the Premier League over the final five months of the season.

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