Brazil have been known as Canarinho (little canary) since they adopted their now famous yellow kits in 1954, so 62 years later they have finally decided to bring that nickname to life in the form of an odd new mascot: A large, angry canary.
Neymar was the first to score in Brazil’s 5-0 win over Bolivia, but he was also the first to bleed profusely from the head. In the second half, Neymar took an elbow from Yasmani Duk, which ended up making him look like Ric Flair in a steel cage match.
The boisterous support of Brazilian fans usually serves as an advantage to their teams, but for the blind football matches being played at the Paralympics, it’s proving to be a challenge for the players.
Almost single-handedly winning Brazil’s first ever Olympic gold in football is apparently a good way to get yourself lovingly mauled by pitch invaders, as Neymar found out during a training session in Manaus. Amidst a sustained chorus of joyful shrieks, several pitch invaders evaded security to hug Neymar to the ground.
Neymar couldn’t help but smile during the hug attack and urged security to go easy on his assailants.
Of course, if he wins a World Cup for his country next, he’ll have a couple hundred million people trying to hug him at once.
In the immediate aftermath of Neymar/Brazil beating Germany on penalties in the men’s Olympic final, Robert Bauer held up seven fingers as he walked off the pitch in reference to Germany’s 7-1 win against Brazil at the 2014 World Cup. Naturally, the Brazilian crowd did not appreciate this reminder of the national shame that their first ever Olympic gold in football can’t make up for, but it wasn’t Germany’s only reference to it, either.
Given Brazil’s many footballing embarrassments in recent years, they really, really needed to win their first ever Olympic gold in the sport at the Olympics they are hosting. Neymar was held out of the Copa America Centenario earlier this summer just so he could be fresh for the Olympics and right about now that decision is looking like a good one.
Uma imagem vale mais que mil palavras! (Foto: @prodoutor) #saineymarENTRAMARTA pic.twitter.com/K9Ucl9AXtv
— Hession Dayan (@hessiondayan) August 8, 2016
The continued crappiness of the Brazilian men’s team has prompted the people of Brazil to finally recognize the brilliance of Marta, with one young fan even going so far as to cross out Neymar’s name from the back of his replica shirt and write in Marta’s.
Neymar got to meet his Madame Tussauds wax figure for a promotional photoshoot and the experience did not seem to sit well with the Brazilian. Throughout their time together, the real Neymar kept inspecting every inch of his inanimate double.
He compared tattoos, felt the tongue and eyeballs, petted the hair. And he wasn’t laughing as he did this. It wasn’t playful curiosity. It was a meticulous inspection. He seemed genuinely concerned about the existence of this identical replica of himself.
The figure will be displayed in Orlando, Florida. Unless Neymar destroys it so it can’t come to life, kill him, and continue on as him with no one noticing the difference. Laugh if you want, but that’s exactly what happened to Pele in 1973.
I have no idea what kind of sorcery the goalkeeper uses to keep this penalty out during a match between Gloria and Internacional in Brazil and neither does he. This is some Jason Bourne “my body just does this and I don’t know why but now you’re dead” type stuff.
If anything, this is more terrifying than a goalkeeper who consciously stops penalties because you can’t deceive a goalkeeper who does his best work when he’s been deceived. Fear him.
Video via Ryan Lloyd
Fans of Brazilian club Portuguesa have come up with a novel way of expressing their dissatisfaction with the season’s results and the team’s underperforming players. About 15 supporters turned up to a training session in red clown noses and full kits of their own and challenged the team to a friendly, confident that they could beat the struggling professionals.
