Another reason why you should never play carnival games
(Bayern/Twitter)
If you saw Mats Hummels’ newly blond hair during Bayern’s 3–0 win over RB Leipzig and thought “Good lord, he must have lost a bet” you were exactly right. As Hummels tells it, he lost a bet on a carnival game at Oktoberfest and waited until the last moment to pay up.
? @matshummels: "I lost at the tin-can alley at Oktoberfest. I backed myself, but I clearly overestimated my ability."
“I had to have it (dyed) for at least one game in 2016,” Hummels said.
“So I thought to myself ‘We’ll just take first place against second place.’ That way it will get the most attention.”
Hummels told Bild that he has to keep his hair this way for a week, but after that he’s considering shaving it off, the he fears he doesn’t “have the head shape” to pull off the bald look.
It’s telling, however, that what Hummels considers punishment for losing a bet, Leo Messi willing did to himself earlier in the year.
Hummels isn’t totally down on his new look, though.
“In the right light it looks good,” he said. Presumably the “right light” is off.
The coolest gift for the poorly treated migrant laborer on your holiday list!
From the country that didn’t bring you the solar-powered cooling clouds they promised comes the “innovative” solar-powered cooling helmet for workers constructing the 2022 World Cup stadiums. So all those human rights activists might as well pack it in.
An innovative cooled helmet designed and developed by leading researchers in Qatar has the potential to significantly reduce the skin temperature of construction workers by up to 10 degrees centigrade. This will allow for safer and more comfortable working conditions in the summer months, according to researchers working on the new system at Qatar University.
The solar-powered helmet has been rigorously tested, patented worldwide and put through the production stage by a group of Doha-based scientists in cooperation with the Supreme Committee for Delivery & Legacy (SC) and Aspire Zone Foundation (Aspire). More units have now been ordered with the objective to incorporate them for the coming summer period across SC projects.
Now that’s all fine and good, but how does this thing work? Dr. Saud Abdul-Aziz Abdul-Ghani, Professor at the College of Engineering at Qatar University, explains:
“The material we use inside the helmet is Phase Changing Material (PCM) contained in a pouch, and this increases the total load of the helmet only by 300 grams. This provides cooling in hot conditions for up to four hours straight.”
So what are they supposed to do for the other 10 hours they have to work each day?
“People when working in the sun will get cool air coming down at the front of their faces. When they go for a break, they throw it into a refrigerator and pick up a cold pack and put it into their helmets,” concluded Dr. Saud.
“What’s a break?” —Qatar stadium worker
“We did research on the best areas to lower body temperature, and it was the head and face. The additional cost is just twenty dollars in comparison to a normal passive helmet, but the results are felt immediately in terms of less lost time on site due to heat-related complaints.”
So when the workers aren’t paid, at least they can sell the helmets for a bit of cash. I guess that’s something.
Now that they have these helmets figured out, they should move the tournament back to summer from November-December and have the players wear them. Maybe modify them into a Petr Cech style scrum cap.
Of course, that won’t happen—and I have my doubts that these helmets for the stadium workers will, either. Again, Qatar University was also who put together the idea of the artificial cloud that would hover over stadiums. This was a serious proposal that collapsed quicker than, well, an artificial cloud once Qatar was awarded the 2022 World Cup.
And if they actually do get these helmets out to workers, it’s probably just a matter of time before they start exploding like Samsung phones.
Sick children try to lift the spirits of the unfortunate souls who play for the Black Cats
(Sunderland/Twitter)
A group of local children’s hospital patients and staff visited Sunderland’s training complex on Monday in an effort to spread some merriment at the relegation threatened club. With 14 points through 17 Premier League matches so far this season, Sunderland currently sit 18th in the table—just two points from the bottom—and were in dire need of cheering up this holiday season. Which is why this group of sick children and their tireless caregivers took pity on the Sunderland players and spent some quality time with them.
“It’s a very difficult time of the year for for footballers to be playing for Sunderland,” said Timmy, age seven. “Visiting the training ground and spending some time with the players and their families is always something the kids enjoy and hopefully we have helped lift their spirits a little. Just seeing the pain in their eyes as they wore their sad ‘I love SAFC’ Christmas jumpers was heartbreaking.”
Samantha, nine, added: “The Sunderland staff do such an—well, I wouldn’t say ‘amazing’ job—but they try their best. And even though that’s not proving to be good enough, it’s great to be able to thank them for all their work and meet the players as they trudge towards relegation. It’s just nice to give something back to the people who need it most. Especially at this time of year.”
The children’s efforts did not go unappreciated, either.
Sunderland manager David Moyes was near tears when a young boy was willing to accept his autograph instead of laughing in his face like most people when he offers. Another child even knew Lee Cattermole’s name.
“It’s been a tough few years for me in particular,” Moyes said after the event, “And though these kids don’t know what it’s like to make millions of pounds despite a growing list of failures, it feels good to know that they care about us as we endure this difficult time in our lives.”
The Chelsea defender has always been full of surprises
David Luiz is revealing one hidden talent after another this season. First by proving he can defend and now by doing card tricks in the dressing room.
With the cameras rolling and his teammates gathered around, the Brazilian defender successfully pulled off a post-match card trick that would make David Blaine jealous (assuming he gets jealous very easily).
This is what it’s come to for Chelsea under Antonio Conte. Atop the table with a six-point cushion, a club record 11 straight wins with 25 goals scored and just two conceded in that span. After a while you need David Luiz to do some card tricks just to stave off the boredom of domination.
Anyway, Luiz now joins Mario Balotelli and Rafa Benitez as football’s top off-the-pitch magicians.
Because puritanical moralizing is apparently more important than letting kids play the game
The business of football is difficult when you don’t have a billionaire or an entire nation state bankrolling the endeavor—especially when the FA won’t even let you keep the sponsors you do have. And that’s the predicament Kings Heath Concorde find themselves in.
The club where former England internationals Joleon Lescott and Darius Vassell got their start could be forced to eliminate their U-10s team since the FA doesn’t approve of having a tattoo shop as their shirt sponsor. The FA has also taken issue with a local nightclub sponsoring their U-8s team.
“What next?” asked Warstone Body Art studio boss Simon Mabbott. “Are they going to ban Premier League footballers who have tattoos? Because that would be pretty much all of them.”
And a spokesman for Arena described the ban as ‘bonkers’. “We are not just a nightclub, we have two function rooms,” she said.
“Are the FA worried that the under-eights and their mates are going to try to get into the place?”
Without these sponsorships, the club can’t afford the teams’ kit costs.
Club president Russell Jukes rightly points out that fast food chains pose much more harm to children of this age than tattoo shops and night clubs, yet there are no rules against them sponsoring youth teams.
It turns out keeping 11 men on the pitch can really help a team avoid a major upset
(Real Madrid/Twitter)
Real Madrid likely thought that their Club World Cup final against local side Kashima Antlers was just a formality, especially after Karim Benzema opened the scoring in the ninth minute. But then Kashima struck back, scoring on either side of halftime to take a 2–1 lead. Cristiano Ronaldo equalized from the penalty spot in the 60th minute and with the score still 2–2 near the end of regulation time Sergio Ramos happened.
Now, at this stage in a match, this can mean one of two things: Either he scored a decisive goal or Real Madrid’s all-time leader in red cards added to his total. Already on a yellow, Ramos appeared to have earned a second to put his side at a disadvantage for extra time. The referee reached into his pocket, but he pulled out nothing. Ramos stayed on the pitch and Cristiano scored twice more in extra time to complete his hat trick and give Real madrid their second Club World Cup title.
After the match, Ramos and Ronaldo appeared to joke about the ref’s pocket fake out.
Perhaps the ref was just curious to see what would happen if he didn’t eject Ramos. How many bookable offenses could be rack up in a single match? After all, it was only the Club World Cup and they were already experimenting with video technology, so why not experiment with a Sergio Ramos behavior challenge, too?
Zidane ended up substituting Ramos in the 108th minute, as he probably didn’t want to test his luck any further. And in the end, Goliath beat David with a bit of help from the referee, then had a hearty laugh. After all, Leicester City already did the underdog thing this year, so letting that happen again would just be a little too cliche.
Man City midfielder Ilkay Gundogan suffered a knee injury earlier in the week, bringing his first season with the club to a premature end. This has undoubtedly been a difficult situation to process for Gundogan, so before Sunday’s match against Arsenal, his teammates lined up in his №8 shirt as a show of solidarity.
It was a lovely gesture, but it also created a bit of confusion since this level of tribute is usually reserved for someone who suffered a bit more than an injured knee.
Regardless of Gundogan’s status, the desire to honor him seemed to galvanize City, as they came back from a 1–0 halftime deficit to beat Arsenal 2–1. After the match, Gundogan expressed his appreciation on Twitter and also took the opportunity to assure every that he is still alive.
Thanks to my teammates ??? & of course – congrats to my boys to this crucial win against #AFC? PS: Don't worry – I'm still alive ? #MCIARSpic.twitter.com/det9q7C8Wp
Meanwhile, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain had to come off 13 minutes after entering the match due to a muscle injury, so look for Arsenal to build a statue for him outside the Emirates to try and inspire a Boxing Day win against West Brom.
A 76th-minute penalty from Mark Noble gave West Ham a 1–0 win over Hull City, but according to West Ham supporters, the man of the match wasn’t Noble or any other human being. It was The Post.
MAN OF THE MATCH: Cast your vote for today's Hammer of the Match for today's 1-0 win over @HullCity now!#COYI#WHUHUL
Prior to their visit to east London, Hull had hit the woodwork three times in 16 matches. On Saturday, they doubled that tally in 90 minutes.
It’s been a difficult season for The Post, with the Hammers’ move to London Stadium, but it’s finding its form at a good time. Now West Ham just have to hope that it doesn’t put in a transfer request when the window opens in January. Rumor has it Man City might put in a bid.
Holiday themed self-promotion can produce some very odd results
Antonio Conte: Overcome with holiday joy
Christmastime: One last frenzy of saccharine enriched consumerism to close out the calendar year. Many baffling sales pitches have been made under the guise of festive celebration, but football clubs seem to have a special knack for producing content of this type. And the holiday season is better for it.
Here are some of the latest examples.
Celtic FC
You know this is going to be unsettling the second Leigh Griffith appears as a tiny elf on a shelf, but when the kid opens the front door to find Brendan Rodgers looking at him like this…
…and doesn’t immediately slam it shut and run away screaming, you know you have entered a universe that has nothing to do with reality. Also, why are they giving this kid an entire shop’s worth of Celtic merchandise to hoard under the stairs? Aren’t there other young fans who would appreciate some of this stuff? Maybe even say “thank you” when a professional footballer magically appears to give him a free gift? Ungrateful little git.
Chelsea FC
Antonio Conte staring into the camera like he wants to murder your ancestors kind of distracts from the misdirect they’re trying to achieve, because by the time they get to everyone playing games and having fun, you’ve already wet yourself, turning your pants the same color as that godawful yellow shirt all the players are wearing.
Barcelona FC
There was a meeting where the following exchange took place:
“OK, our theme is ‘sharing happiness’…what’s the best way to convey that in one minute and 36 seconds?”
“Well what if we have Santa Claus, dressed as a history professor, in a psychiatrist’s office…”
“SAY NO MORE, MIGUEL. THIS IDEA IS ‘SHARING HAPPINESS’ BOILED DOWN TO ITS UNIVERSAL ESSENCE AND WE ARE DOING IT NOW.”
And whoever said, “Wait, isn’t that completely weird?” was overruled and probably fired, leaving them unable to buy gifts for their family this year. The end.
Arsenal FC
This is 100% batshit insane. The accents that sound like something out of an abandoned Pixar film. The continued degradation of Santi Cazorla. The attempt to appeal to Australians with tired caricatures of their own existence. The tacked-on “Merry Christmas” that has nothing to do with anything that just happened. Per Mertesacker trying to start a fire using his own body. The inclusion of a long forgotten Carl Jenkinson.
The fact that this video exists proves that we will never fully understand the universe or the human mind.
Juventus FC
After taking in all of the insanity we have to this point, it’s nice to end with a video that’s actually quite good. Juventus’ pizza loving zebra mascot Jay (OK, but this one is a little insane, too) fulfills a Christmas wish carelessly lost by an elf who may or may not be hopped up on methamphetamine.
To recap, more animated mascots and less creepy managers, please.
Airdrieonians FC and their fans pay tribute to an inspirational member of their community
(Airdrieonians FC)
Scottish League One club Airdrieonians FC have a new shirt sponsor: Their own supporters’ trust. The unusual arrangement was struck as a means of honoring Airdrie fan Mark Allison, who died from pancreatic cancer earlier in the year. And now, Allison’s face will grace the club’s kits until the end of the season as part of a “five-figure deal.”
The Trust and Club have agreed that the image of legendary Diamond fundraiser Mark Allison will appear on his beloved Airdrie shirt, a gesture everyone will see fitting. It will also be the first time in world football — as far as we know — that the image of a fan has appeared on a club shirt.
As everyone will know, Mark took great comfort and support from two local organisations — Maggies and St Andrews Hospice — and was a fervent fan and supporter of both these wonderful centres, who cared for him so well during his final months. The Trust have therefore agreed that Trackside Boards and Programme adverts — part of the sponsorship package — will go to both organisations. Programme adverts will also be given to both by the Supporters Trust, and boardroom hospitality will also be donated to both to auction off for funds. Fundraising events are also planned, and it is hoped that more club events can take place at both.
Allison’s friends and family were consulted before the decision was made and proceeds raised from kit sales will go to the charities that Allison himself raised money for before his death. As a result, an initial supply of shirts quickly sold out (for more info on how to purchase one, go here).
Hopefully this becomes a trend that even corporate shirt sponsors embrace. Using this space to celebrate deserving people is something everyone can get behind.
