Category: Dirty Tackle

U.S. Soccer’s biggest problem isn’t Jurgen Klinsmann, it’s Sunil Gulati’s indecision

The USSF president is failing to deal with more troubling matters than whether Klinsmann stays on as manager

Gulati attempts to hide

It’s easy to point fingers at Jurgen Klinsmann right now. The U.S. have lost two consecutive matches of significance and he seems to be doing everything wrong. This is a problem. But the U.S. federation has a bigger problem. Namely, USSF president Sunil Gulati.

If U.S. Soccer was a horror movie, Gulati would be the character that hides under the bed, hoping the undead axe murderer gets bored, goes home and starts a new life as a tax attorney. His method of leadership is to provide no leadership at all. And it’s causing a growing number of embarrassments on both the men’s and women’s sides of the game.

The Klinsmann situation is a comparatively minor concern in the grand scheme of issues facing the USSF. World Cup qualification is still a strong possibility and though he isn’t getting results at the moment, Klinsmann has brought a number of promising young talents into the mix that beget optimism for the future, whether Klinsmann himself is part of it or not.

Still, the losses to Mexico and Costa Rica and the avalanche of calls for Klinsmann to be fired that ensued demanded a show of leadership. Either sack him now, since time is of the essence in the middle of a World Cup cycle, or confidently back the manager in an effort to quiet the unrest both outside and inside the dressing room. Instead, Gulati has given the equivalent of a verbal shrug.

 

If it’s decided that Klinsmann must go now, Gulati, who isn’t up for re-election until 2018, will be on the hook for the considerable expense that decision will bring to the federation. After all, he was ultimately responsible for offering Klinsmann a four-year contract extension shortly before the 2014 World Cup that also gave him the broader role of technical director.

Meanwhile, the issues on the women’s side go far beyond wins and losses, though they too are coming off a shocking quarterfinal loss to Sweden at the Rio Olympics. The women’s team has been actively fighting for equal pay for months and several members of the team filed a lawsuit against the federation back in March. When asked about this by Sports Illustrated’s Grant Wahl, Gulati proved that he is more comfortable in his role as an economics professor at Columbia University than as the leader of a non-profit organization.

“I don’t want to use the word deserve in any of this,” Gulati said. “I’d reverse the question: Do you think revenue should matter at all in determination of compensation in a market economy? If we look at the track record of teams, a lot of different things go into the compensation for the players … Part of it is based on revenue, part of it is based on revenues that accrue from international competitions, part of it is based on incentives and the performance of the teams. All of that goes into it. We think very highly of the women’s national team, we want to compensate them fairly and we’ll sit down and work through that with them.”

Gulati added that revenue generation is “absolutely part of the equation,” but doesn’t seem to entertain the possibility that maybe it shouldn’t be. Again, the USSF isn’t a publicly traded corporation. It’s a non-profit organization (then, so is FIFA) with the stated mission of making “soccer, in all its forms, a preeminent sport in the United States and to continue the development of soccer at all recreational and competitive levels.” And equal pay seems like both a just and logical way of working towards that mission.

Instead, this battle has been allowed to fester. And when the USSF terminated Hope Solo’s contract after she called Sweden’s team “cowards,” it seemed a lot more likely that she was being cast off for being one of the team’s leaders in the equal pay movement than for being a sore loser.

This brings us to Gulati’s recent comments on Megan Rapinoe kneeling during the national anthem while on international duty.

Depending on how you read that quote, it’s either an indirect threat to Rapinoe and anyone else who doesn’t toe the line or it’s a mealy mouthed attempt to placate those offended by her actions. Or maybe it’s both. Whatever the case, it’s another example of Gulati hiding under the bed. He’s not punishing her and he’s not backing her. He’s hoping his word smoothie will be enough to get everyone to argue amongst themselves and leave him alone.

A clearer example of this desire was when a Senate subcommittee called USSF representatives to be questioned about the FBI’s crackdown on FIFA and the U.S.’s own confederation—CONCACAF—based largely on the crimes perpetrated and exposed by turncoat American FIFA executive Chuck Blazer. Gulati declined to attend and has remained steadfast in attempts to quietly distance himself from the corruption that has gone on all around him.

The problems of Gulati’s reign are not limited to the highest levels of the sport, though. They also extended down to the youth ranks, corroding the very foundation upon which U.S. Soccer is built.

The pay to play system of youth soccer in America predates Gulati’s tenure atop the USSF, but the lack of action to remedy it has allowed it to worsen and affect exponentially more children. And yet, the inescapable theme of avoidance holds true.

Obviously Gulati can’t be expected to fix all that ails U.S. Soccer by himself, but being a leader who leads, rather than someone who enjoys all the perks of his title while shirking its toughest responsibilities and facing no opposition to his crown would be a good start. And if he’s not willing to do that, it’s time to find someone who is. Hey—maybe Jurgen Klinsmann would be a better federation president than national team coach.

Wayne Rooney apologizes for being pictured looking like hell at a wedding reception

Really, Wayne? This is the one you’re sorry for?

The phrase “For a greater Britain” next to that image of Rooney is too perfect

Following England’s 3–0 win over Scotland on Friday, Wayne Rooney was photographed at a wedding party that happened to be taking place at the hotel used by the England team. Still wearing his team gear, Rooney was photographed looking sloppier than usual with wine stained lips. The Sun published these photos and Rooney was held out of England’s 2–2 draw with Spain, supposedly for unrelated reasons.

Now, Rooney’s representatives have issued a statement on his behalf:

“Naturally Wayne is sorry that pictures taken with fans have been published today.

“Although it was a day off for the whole squad and staff, he fully recognises that the images are inappropriate for someone in his position.

“Earlier today Wayne spoke privately to both Gareth Southgate and Dan Ashworth to unreservedly apologise.

“He would like to further extend that apology to any young fans who have seen these pictures.”

Really, Wayne? These are the images you’re sorry your young fans might see?

What about this one?

Rooney shaved a “19” into his chest hair after Man United won their 19th league title, then tweeted this photo

Or this one?

https://www.gettyimages.com/license/102842757

Or this one?

I can’t even begin to explain this

Or this one?

Or this one?

If you’re going to set a precedent for apologizing every time you’re caught doing something embarrassing on camera, you’re going to be a busy man, Wayne. Then again, this could be a more productive use of your time than actually playing football.


Atlanta United’s inaugural kit is the MetroStars’ old kit

What’s old is new again in MLS

(Atlanta United)

Atlanta United will join MLS next season (along with Minnesota United), which means they’ll need something to wear. So on Tuesday night, they unveiled their first ever home kit. And it looks rather familiar.

Here’s Atlanta’s new kit…

(Atlanta United)

And here are a couple of kits worn by the MetroStars (now the New York Red Bulls)…



Of course, there’s also a distinct similarity to the Milan’s famous home kit. That’s not to say that any of these comparisons are a bad thing. It’s an attractive enough design. But Atlanta will surely hope to have more success in their kit than the MetroStars did.


The U.S. hit bottom with 4–0 loss to Costa Rica

The Jurgen Klinsmann era appears to have run its course

(FIFA/AFP/EZEQUIEL BECERRA)

Losing in Costa Rica after losing to Mexico at home to start the Hexagonal round of CONCACAF World Cup qualifying was always a distinct possibility for the U.S. Even with the “dos a cero” streak against Mexico and a 4–0 win over Costa Rica in the Copa America group stage last summer, both those teams are arguably better than the U.S. So it’s not the fact that they’ve lost to both of these teams in a matter of days that’s the problem. It’s the how that’s the killer.

In spite of a grievous tactical miscalculation from the start against Mexico, the U.S. could have come away with a respectable 1–1 draw…had it not been for a defensive lapse that allowed Rafa Marquez to score an 89th minute header for the win. Against Costa Rica, the U.S. conceded shortly before halftime, then completely lost control of all bodily function and allowed three goals in a span of 10 minutes after the break.

This was the first time they conceded four goals in a World Cup qualifier since 1968 (the dark ages of U.S. soccer) and the result leaves them bottom of the table, having conceded more goals than Trinidad & Tobago. As Bobby Warshaw wrote after the Mexico loss, Jurgen Klinsmann is proving incapable of leading this U.S. team. These weren’t just losses, these were losses that demonstrated bad ideas, poor communication, and clear motivational issues.

Of course, these were only two matches and the U.S. has plenty of time to regroup and qualify for the 2018 World Cup. But the manner in which they reached this position is undeniably troubling and demands questions be asked as to whether a new leader is required to right the ship.

It’s entirely possible that a new manager does no better than the current one. I doubt anyone looks at this group of players and thinks they have the untapped ability to go out and consistently run the table (aside from Christian Pulisic, who is still just 18 years old) right now. But at this point it’s difficult to come up with an argument for keeping Klinsmann and not giving change a try.

It’s been six years since Klinsmann took charge of the team, which is an exceptional period of time for an international manager—or any manager of the modern era, for that matter. Even the most successful international managers see their command over a team unravel if they stick around long enough. And Klinsmann seems to have reached that point.

As Bobby mentioned in his pre-match Q&A session (watch the video below) and Grant Wahl later echoed, former U.S. coach Bruce Arena is a likely short-term replacement for Klinsmann just to get the team through the World Cup should a change be made. Obviously that’s not a step forward, but you have to bandage your head wound before you can put on a new hat.

The U.S.’s next qualifiers aren’t until the end of March, so if a change is to be made, this might be the last, best time to do it before the World Cup.


Samir Nasri claims that Pep Guardiola imposes a sex curfew on his players

Leo Messi is cited as a beneficiary of this strange rule

(Man City)

In the wake of revelations about Pep Guardiola’s pizza and WiFi bans, I stated that he was turning Man City into North Korea. But I don’t think even Kim Jong-un imposes a sex curfew on his people.

Before we get into the details of this matter, first we must consider the source. Samir Nasri was loaned out to Sevilla at the start of the season because Guardiola didn’t like his attitude or level of fitness. He claims that Guardiola literally kicked him in the butt. So with that in mind, here’s what else Nasri has to say (via the BBC):

He told French TV programme L’Équipe du Soir that Guardiola “wants his players to be slim and fit”.

Nasri added: “He banned a lot of things in the kitchen but the biggest anecdote is that he says before a day off, those who want to have (sexual) relations it’s before midnight. And that’s with a day off the next day. It’s because he wants you to have a good night’s sleep.”

Nasri, who signed for City in 2011, added: “He said he told that to Messi, who since then does not get muscle injuries.”

OK, there’s a lot to unpack here. First of all, to be clear, this isn’t a sex ban, but a sex curfew…before days off. Secondly, if sex was causing Lionel Messi’s muscle injuries, I doubt the timing of it was as much of a problem as how he was doing it. Was he having sex on top of a bed of Ballon d’Or awards? Was he practicing a variation that involves running? I have no idea.

Third, this rule has surely created some dilemmas for Guardiola’s players over the years.

Pique: Want to go to the bedroom?

Shakira: But it’s 11:55 before your day off. Do we have time?

Pique: Plenty…

Pique thrusts at hyperspeed as his eyes are locked on a bedside clock that flips from 11:59 to 12:00.

Pique: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Shakira: YOUR HIPS…HAVE…LIED!!!

Pique collapses, out of breath and without release. The phone rings.

Pique: Hello?

Guardiola: It’s 12:01. There better not be any sex happening.

Pique: No, boss. There isn’t.

Guardiola: Good. I couldn’t tell from the cameras if you stopped or not. Next time leave the lights on.

Pique: Cameras?!? What cameras?

Guardiola: I AM PEP GUARDIOLA—SEEER OF ALL, KNOWER OF ALL. DO NOT QUESTION ME AGAIN.

Pique: Yes, boss.

Guardiola: Now I have to be sure Messi isn’t trying to have sex while wearing his rollerskate shoes again. Sweet dreams, Gerard.


Man City fans are the worst at Fantasy Premier League

And Middlesbrough fans are the best, because the keyword here is “fantasy”

I have no idea what is happening in this image

International breaks provide time for clubs to reflect on the season thus far. They also give the Premier League’s official website an opportunity to call out supporters of the two Manchester clubs for being terrible at fantasy football.

Since the Premier League’s official fantasy game asks participants what their favorite club is upon setting up a team, they’re able to track which club’s supporters perform best in the game. As it turns out, this is bad news for fans of Man United and City. Here’s the full table:



It’s unclear exactly why Man United and City fans are doing so poorly, but it’s interesting to note that most of the big clubs (with the exception of Liverpool) are near the bottom of the table—perhaps signifying that they have a larger number of casual fans who might not have the knowledge or commitment to be successful fantasy owners. Or maybe Pep Guardiola’s WiFi ban at City’s training complex is decimating their staff’s ability to play fantasy football and tanking their points average.

Meanwhile, Middlesbrough supporters top the table, proving that they did their homework before making their return to the Premier League this season. And Sunderland fans appear to know far more than David Moyes.

The “top-owned player” category is also interesting. It’s no surprise that fantasy points machine Sergio Aguero is listed 14 times. What is surprising is that Leicester fans have adopted inexpensive Watford midfielder Etienne Capoue, who has already scored four goals (double his output from the last three seasons combined) as their favorite over the likes of Jamie Vardy and Riyad Mahrez.

As for me, I’m with Hull City fans at 483 points, but I’ve done it without Aguero (I’ve remained loyal to Zlatan because I know what happens to those who don’t). I’ve also done it without paying attention to my fantasy team for the last eight weeks or so. This is not a strategy I would recommend for maximizing fantasy success.


David Luiz tackles unsuspecting Chelsea TV reporter

Dirty Tackle of the Day

He’s got that look in his eye…

Never let David Luiz lurk behind you. This is something everyone should know by now, but one Chelsea TV presenter didn’t learn until he got a surprise from a stone-faced Luiz while going about his business at the club’s Cobham training complex.

Be sure you have the sound on when you watch, because the noise that escapes his body as it happens is the best part.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMrf5-MhWTS/

After this, he affixed a rearview mirror to the camera so he never has to suffer this terror (or make that noise) again.


David Alaba suffers death by nutmeg during Bayern training session

RIP David Alaba

David Alaba 1992–2016

Talented young footballer David Alaba tragically died during a Bayern Munich training session when teammate Rafinha mercilessly nutmegged him into oblivion. He was 24 years old.

Alaba’s teammates carried his lifeless body off to the side so they could resume training and his spirit could quietly endure an eternity of embarrassment. He is survived by his BFF Franck Ribery.

In lieu of flowers, mourners are asked to donate to the David Alaba Memorial Fund, which aims to help footballers who have survived nutmeggings assume new identities in remote villages where the sport doesn’t exist.


The legendary origins of Columbus’ demonic tifo for USA-Mexico

The first and best tifo to be based on a DT post

(Sam Fahmi/MassiveReport.com)

For US fans, the best part of Friday night’s 2–1 loss to Mexico was the fearsome tifo featuring Christian Pulisic hoisted in the America Outlaws’ end of Mapfre Stadium before kickoff. What made it especially incredible for Dirty Tackle readers, and myself in particular, is the fact that it was inspired by a spooky DT post from our more exclamation pointy days in 2013 about Columbus, Ohio’s “dos a cero” tradition.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/soccer-dirty-tackle/terrifying-mexican-football-legend-columbus-ohio-204636753–sow.html

The section of the tifo behind demon Pulisic reminding Mexico of all their 2–0 losses in Columbus with his fingers featured the words “tiny demon fortress” and stars of previous dos-a-cero matches Josh Wolff, Oguchi Onyewu, Michael Bradley, and Landon Donovan—all of whom are referenced in “The terrifying Mexican football legend of Columbus, Ohio.” The phrase itself comes from this section:

They strategically placed Columbus, Ohio in a territory so nightmarishly bland that even They call it “flyover country.” It is a territory that only exists to make life miserable for Mexican footballers. And it’s there that They built their first “soccer specific stadium” — a term that loosely translates to “tiny demon fortress.” A David-like hovel that can only fit less than 25,000 people in a land of Goliath sporting cathedrals. Few Mexicans have been inside the Columbus Demon Fortress, but those who have say that it is a horrible place where the chants of “USA! USA!” penetrate the skull with their thunderous volume and maddening repetition. It contains rows of metal benches that offer terrible lumbar support and the scoreboard spews flames and black smoke when it has been too long since the last non-believer has been offered as a sacrifice.

(Sam Fahmi/MassiveReport.com)

The tifo was designed and brought to life by the extremely talented and admirably dedicated Columbus Crew fans at #TIFOSWEAT.

I’m pretty sure this is the first time a DT post has been turned into a tifo and I’m very sure this one will be hard to top. I couldn’t be more proud. And I’m glad the people of Columbus feel the same way about their tiny demon fortress.

Special thanks to Evonne Segall for bringing this to our attention!


Rafa Marquez scores late winner to end US’s “dos a cero” streak against Mexico

(Fox Soccer)

The US tempted fate with obsessive chatter about their active streak of 2–0 wins against Mexico in Columbus, Ohio that dates back to 2001 before the two faced off there in a Friday night World Cup qualifier. And in the end, 8,000-year-old Rafa Marquez made them pay for it.

Considering recent electoral happenings, the evening began pleasantly enough with the two teams coming together for a group photo.

Once the match was underway, Mexico struck first with a Miguel Layun goal in the 20th minute. This was followed by US goalkeeper Tim Howard leaving the match in the 40th minute with a groin strain, leaving the US one goal and one goalkeeper down at halftime.

In the second half, the US finally came alive and Bobby Wood equalized in the 49th minute. As the yellow cards piled up (there ended up being eight in total), the match seemed headed for a 1–1 draw. But then, in the 89th minute, Old Man Marquez emerged hopped above his walker and headed in what would be the winner.

Mexico’s Carlos Salcido was sent off during stoppage time, but it was too late for the US to take advantage and Mexico won 2–1, finally snapping the Groundhog Day-like repetition of their visits to Columbus and the US’s 15-year home World Cup qualifier winning streak.

Before the match, Marquez told ESPN FC:

“The good thing about football is that it gives you revenge,” Marquez said on Tuesday. “We’ve not done well here [in the past] and this is a new opportunity to trust in the group and the coach and get three important points.”

So if you’re wondering how a guy who has been around since man played bingo with the dinosaurs can still muster the big-time goals in big-time moments, the answer is revenge. The answer is always revenge.