Category: England

Champions League condolences to Pep Guardiola from other managers

Bayern Munich’s elimination from the Champions League semifinals by Atletico Madrid ensures that Pep Guardiola will not win a European title for the German club before he joins Man City next season. Though Guardiola has won five other trophies in his three seasons with Bayern, this comes as a terrible disappointment to him. Thankfully, his fellow managers have reached out to him with their comforting words.

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Spurs squander 2-0 lead to end title hopes in most Spurs way possible

Spurs hadn’t won at Stamford Bridge since 1990, but they had to do just in order to prolong their slim title hopes for another week. They seemed destined to do just that when they took a 2-0 lead over Chelsea jsut before halftime. But then the longstanding animosity between the two clubs boiled over and Spurs did what they do best: implode.

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Leicester fan convinces girlfriend to name their daughter “Vardy” with internet petition

Given the incredible turn of events for Leicester City this season, it’s understandable that their fans would be a bit drunk on life and delirious. Perhaps this is why Leicester supporter Ashley Marriott decided that “Vardy” — as in the club’s top scorer Jamie Vardy — would make a good middle name for his unborn daughter and that he should start an internet petition to convince his partner of this.

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Spurs falter under the pressure of playing in front of Baby Spice

Spurs all but wrapped up the Premier League title for Leicester by only managing a 1-1 draw with West Brom at home on Monday night. The pressure was on with first-place Leicester beating Swansea 4-0 the day before and Spurs fan Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton in attendance at White Hart Lane for the important match. But the former Spice Girl’s presence was too much for this young Spurs team to handle as they conceded a 73rd minute equalizer to Craig Dawson, who scored an own goal in the 33rd minute to give Spurs the lead.

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Eden Hazard finally deems this Premier League season worthy of his goals

On the last full day of his reign as PFA Player of the Year, Eden Hazard scored his first two goals of the Premier League season in Chelsea’s 4-1 win over Bournemouth, proving that his terrible form this season has either been a slow-burn practical joke or something else equally incomprehensible.

Maybe he had been suffering from amnesia, simply forgot how to score goals, and thought his name was Stanley Dingleton, but hit his head the night before the Bournemouth match and it all came back to him? I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about this a lot this season and I still don’t know. The Dingleton theory seems like it’s on the right track, though.

It had been 356 days since his last Premier League goal, but that’s all over now.

Meanwhile, Luis Suarez has scored four goals in each of his last two La Liga matches — a new record — bringing his total to 34 for the season.

Congrats, Eden!

Claudio Ranieri is so excited he’s making up words now

Amidst all the talk of whether Leicester can hold on and win the Premier League title, Claudio “The Sausageman” Ranieri has provided an impassioned reminder that club’s already certain achievement of a place in the Champions League needs to be recognized.

“Hey man, we are in Champions League!” Ranieri told a reporter during his Friday press conference. “WE ARE IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, MAN! Dilly ding, dilly dong! Come on!”

So there you have it. Claudio Ranieri remains endlessly likable and he confirms that Leicester will sign former Montreal Impact midfielder Dilly Duka this summer.