The thought of a child betraying the family allegiances to support the same clubs as his school chums is too much to bear for some parents. As a result, one Arsenal fan who found himself in this position went so far as to forge a letter from Arsene Wenger in a desperate bid to win back his son.
After a year in captivity with limited contact to the outside world, former Barcelona goalkeeper Victor Valdes appears to have been released from whatever dungeon Manchester United have kept him in.
Valdes posted a message on his Instagram account thanking his fans for supporting him through this dark period of his life. The 34-year-old goalkeeper was first lured to the club with the promise of a chance to rehab his injured knee. He was then signed to a contract and dumped into their U-21 squad. He was able to escape to the first team twice, but was caught and banished back to his cell both times.
Last July, Valdes went on the football version of a hunger strike by refusing to play in a reserve match. As punishment, he wasn’t given a squad number, effectively making him disappear, despite being named to Man United’s Premier League squad presumably so no one would ask questions as to his whereabouts. He was also not invited to the club’s UNICEF charity dinner in November, proving the extreme lengths to his inhume treatment.
Valdes is now expected to join Belgian club Standard Liege, where he will attempt to reacclimate himself to footballing society.
As a tie-in to National Hug Day, which is apparently a thing, Liverpool cut together a video of 22 Jurgen Klopp hugs from his first three months with the club.
We recently came to the realization that Klopp’s hugs are sucking the life force out of his players, so with that in mind, this video goes from sweetly adorable to deeply troubling.
The Dude Perfect team went to England to partake in a variety of football themed activities, including a game of bubble football against a team of Man City old boys.
After scoring just two goals in the first five months of the Premier League season — prompting rampant speculation that the clock had struck midnight on his career and turned him into a pumpkin — Wayne Rooney has now scored four goals in his first three league matches of the new year (and five in four overall).
Though many will say this is proof of his resurgence, it’s actually just evidence of a new strategy that is proving effective for him.
John Terry has once again done what he does best: infuriate large swathes of humanity.
You’re top of the table. Beating Liverpool 3-2 after coming back from 2-1 down. Olivier Giroud with a brace. Feeling good.
A groom played the old switcheroo with his wedding reception toast, making it sound like he was saying wonderful things about his new wife and then revealing that he was actually talking about Mesut Ozil. Somehow, the couple didn’t immediately get a divorce.
To reward the groom’s bravery and the bride’s good humor, Mesut Ozil himself announced on Twitter that he would congratulate them in person and bring them to an Arsenal match.
Aston Villa only managed a 1-1 draw with League Two’s Wycombe Wanderers in the third round of the FA Cup, forcing a replay and extending their winless streak to 10 matches.
This was the last straw for many Villa fans, who have watched their club settle at the bottom of the Premier League table and look completely rudderless despite a managerial change in early November. So the group that traveled to Adams Park expressed their fury to the players as they boarded the bus home after this latest disappointment.
The intense scrutiny and heavy criticism that has come with his time at Manchester United has taken its toll on Louis van Gaal and reduced him to calling all of his players “Michael.” First there was “Michael” Smalling (a mistake he first made last July with Smalling right next to him, then again in November), now there’s “Michael” Keane.
Van Gaal went on to admit that Michael is somehow an “easy name” for him. And that he has also now given Chris Smalling the nickname “Pele.”
At this point, it seems cruel to make fun of him. Clearly the man needs help. Michael “Maradona” Woodward needs to put him out of his misery and sack him before this goes any further.
