Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has long been a source of unintentionally funny quotes, but as the scrutiny on his job performance grows so does the inane brilliance of his words.
Category: England
Jose Mourinho does product placement for Google during press conference
Jose Mourinho is getting pointed questions from journalists and he doesn’t know why. As he says, he is still the champion of England (he — not his club — just him) despite Chelsea’s terrible start this season and others (ahem, ARSENE WENGER) have gotten much softer treatment, in his eyes, over much longer periods of underachievement.
“Some manager can’t be in difficult situations five, six, seven, 10 years and I am the current champion of England, why should I be in trouble?” he asked reporters at his press conference ahead of Chelsea’s Champions League opener against Maccabi Tel Aviv. “Why? I think that’s a good question and you don’t know what to answer.”
He then addressed the issue of what has been dubbed his “third season syndrome” where he either doesn’t stick around for one or underachieves if he does stay in a given job that long. Naturally, he sees this trend quite differently.
“My third season at Porto, I didn’t have a third season,” he said. “My third season in Inter, I didn’t have a third season. My third season at Chelsea the first time, I won the FA Cup and the Carling Cup and I played a Champions League semifinal. The third season in Real Madrid, I won the Super Cup, I lost the cup final, and I went to the Champions League semifinal. These are my third seasons. So click Google instead of make stupid question. Click Google and try to find.”
And it only got better from there. (Watch the video above for the full back and forth with the reporter who raised the issue.)
It’s unclear how much Google paid for this brilliant bit of product placement, but “Click Google instead of make stupid question” is a bold new slogan for the company.
Steven Gerrard tells the tale of requiring four stitches on his penis last year
Steven Gerrard has a new autobiography coming out, so excerpts from it are being released in the hopes of drumming up interest in the book. Of course, the best way to do that is with a story about a penis injury.
In January 2014, Gerrard suffered a horrific injury. I suggest you stop reading at this point, but I know you won’t.
Tim Sherwood does magic spell to make his two-goal lead disappear
With his side up 2-0 in the second half against undefeated Leicester City, Aston Villa manager Tim Sherwood attempted some kind of magic spell on the touchline (his version of a tactical adjustment) to prevent the home side from making a comeback. Except it totally backfired and Leicester ended up winning 3-2 with a trio of unanswered goals in the final 20 minutes of play.
Kelechi Iheanacho: Man City’s low-priced match winner
After a summer in which Man City signed Kevin De Bruyne for £54 million, Raheem Sterling for £44 million, and even Patrick Roberts for £12 million, it was 18-year-old Kelechi Iheanacho, called up after a season in City’s youth setup, who scored the 90th-minute winner against Crystal Palace.
So who is the lesser known match winner standing out from the club’s expensive youthful acquisitions? Let’s take a look…
Christian Benteke, Anthony Martial score incredible goals back to back
It took a while to get going, but by the end of Manchester United’s 3-1 win against Liverpool, it felt like we all owed someone some money after watching two spectacular goals in a two-minute span.
Muhamed Besic’s hamstring joins campaign against Chelsea
Chelsea were all set to win at Everton and get their season on track after the international break. For nine minutes, the Toffees were completely shut down by Chelsea. Had it gone on for just a bit longer, they probably would have quit and handed Chelsea the three points just to avoid further frustration.
But then, in that moment of desperation, Muhamed Besic conveniently “injured his hamstring” and was replaced by Steven Naismith, a player nearly sold on transfer deadline day, who went on to score twice in five minutes and completed his hat trick in the second half. This gave Everton a shocking 3-1 win and Chelsea their third loss in five matches this season.
Louis van Gaal instills a hint of menace to David De Gea contract announcement
David De Gea signed a new four-year contract with Manchester United that he almost certainly will not come close to seeing out with them. To mark the occasion, he posed for a few photos with Louis van Gaal. Who, as per usual, made it weird.
Steven Gerrard misses Liverpool more than anyone has ever missed Liverpool, sounds sad
Life in Los Angeles seems to be going well enough for Steven Gerrard, but good lord does he miss Liverpool. In an interview with the Daily Mail, Gerrard made it clear that MLS isn’t fulfilling all of his professional desires.
Will Ferrell urges Jose Mourinho to “keep playing defense, man”
At the end of a manic acceptance speech upon being named Comedian of the Year at the GQ Awards in London, Will Ferrell called out Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho and urged him to “Keep playing defense, man. Keep playing defense.”
“Seven guys in the box — I love it,” Ferrell joked.
Mourinho was the recipient of the GQ Editor’s Special Award, because obviously. Here you can see how thrilled he was to be there…