Category: England

Several ways Chelsea can be more unpredictable this season

Speaking ahead of the Community Shield and the start of the new season, Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho took a break from roasting his rivals to discuss what he felt his side need to do in order to successfully defend the Premier League title.

From Reuters:

“We are trying to add new qualities to our game to improve what we did in the past,” the Portuguese told reporters during Chelsea’s pre-season tour of the United States.

“We are trying to be a little more unpredictable because opponents know us well and we want to go to the season with high motivation.”

Selling Petr Cech to Arsenal was a start on the path of unpredictableness, but since we at Dirty Tackle like to help, here are a few more ideas on how Chelsea can mix things up a bit…

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Jose Mourinho is trying to make everyone’s head explode before the season even starts

Jose Mourinho seems to have achieved a life changing realization this summer. That if you say things that turn everyone’s brains into unproductive goop before the season even starts, it will make it that much easier to keep them in a perpetual state of distraction throughout the campaign.

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Arsene Wenger is desperately trying to wish the money out of football (even his own)

Arsene Wenger has made no secret of his disdain for the effect money has had on football in general and the Premier League in particular. He’s railed against Chelsea and Man City, who have both caused him headaches in the transfer market (Petr Cech aside) and in the league table for years now, and he has bluntly assessed the failings of UEFA’s Financial Fair Play rules.

Recently, he criticized a fellow member of the old guard, Manchester United, as they have gone on a spending spree this summer more befitting the nouveau riche.

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Louis van Gaal calls Chris Smalling “Mike” while sitting right next to him

Calling one of their own players the wrong name is embarrassing enough, but when they’re sitting right next to you when you do it and have to correct you in front of a room full of reporters, it becomes far, far worse. That’s what happened to Louis van Gaal, when he called Chris Smalling “Mike Smalling,” leaving Chris/Mike to correct him.

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A timeline of Fabian Delph’s bizarre double U-turn to Man City

(@AVFCOfficial)
(@AVFCOfficial)

[This post was originally published on July 11. It has been modified and updated to reflect the latest in Fabian Delph’s terrible decision making process.]

July 3 — Aston Villa captain Fabian Delph is linked to Man City, who are reportedly willing to trigger his £8 million buyout clause.

July 8 — Villa signing (and former City player) Micah Richards tells the press that Delph asked him about City and his opinion of the situation.

July 10 — The BBC reports that Delph’s move to City is all but done, pending a medical scheduled for the next day.

July 10 (later) — Delph’s comments from just six months ago, when he signed a four and a half year extension with Villa, do the rounds on social media. Vitriol is directed his way and he is widely mocked.

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