Category: England

March 21, 2015

Several positives that will hopefully dry Falcao’s tears

Radamel Falcao is sad. After missing out on Colombia’s exhilarating World Cup run due to injury, his loan move to Manchester United has been little more than a different brand of awful with four goals in just 19 appearances and a demoralizing run out for the U-21s in which he only lasted 71 ineffective minutes. And now Falcao’s friend and former agent, Silvano Espindola, is apparently telling the press that the striker is sitting in a puddle of his own tears.

From the Guardian:

“We talk a lot. I’m not going to say that he feels happy because he’s not,” he said. “We’ve spoken many times and cried together. It’s not an easy situation because every player wants to play and every goalscorer wants to score goals, that’s normal.”

Espindola is right about that. These things happen and it’s important that Falcao doesn’t lose sight of the positives. Of which there are, you know, some. So let’s cheer him up with a few.

March 20, 2015

The solutions to Chelsea’s “penalty puzzle”

Earlier this week, Chelsea’s official website published an unusual article highlighting the low number of penalties awarded to them this season (spoiler: it’s two).

Filed in the “news” section, the article was simply titled, “Penalty Puzzle,” which seems to imply a link to manager Jose Mourinho’s belief that there is a sinister conspiracy actively working against his team. Because puzzles are purposefully arranged circumstances and not the result of mere coincidence, which is something that doesn’t exist. In fact, that’s probably not even a real word.

During his Friday press conference, Mourinho discussed the article. From the Telegraph:

“Our two closest challengers in the Premier League this season, Manchester City and Arsenal, have both been awarded seven penalties, the most in the division,” said the article. “Last term the two teams that finished above us, Man City and Liverpool, were awarded more penalties than any other team bar us.

“Of course it could be that when teams have played the league leaders they have been particularly careful inside their own area. We all have plenty of recollections suggesting this is not the case however.”

Mourinho went on to say that he thinks it was “a very objective article” and “not an opinion article that can lead to discussions. It’s just the numbers.”

Every puzzle has a solution, though. And this one has several.

March 20, 2015

Louis van Gaal is already talking about retiring

Louis van Gaal got off to a rough start at Man United, but things are starting to come together. He’s got them back up to fourth in the Premier League and just two points behind second-place Man City. So less than a third of the way through his contract and still a month away from outlasting predecessor David Moyes in the job, Van Gaal is already talking about how wonderful it will be to retire to his Portuguese paradise.

March 19, 2015

Joey Barton reads mean tweets, tries to be mean right back

It’s finally happened. In the unified pursuit to have every celebrity read mean internet comments about themselves on camera, we have reached red card enthusiast and antagonistic Twitter philosopher Joey Barton.

BT Sport gave Barton a selection of mean tweets with him as their target and as he read them, he tried very hard to be mean right back. This time he used his words and not his fists (or a cigar), though.

March 17, 2015

Brentford fans want Chelsea to give up 1940s wartime trophy

Contrary to popular belief, Chelsea FC’s history actually predates 2003 and they even won an assortment of trophies over the first 98 years of their existence. But now Brentford supporters have started a petition to reclaim one of those trophies — the London War Cup, which has resided in Chelsea’s trophy cabinet since 1945.

March 15, 2015

Wayne Rooney boxes Phil Bardsley in his kitchen, celebrates goal by miming knockout

The Sun has published video of Wayne Rooney boxing Sunderland defender Phil Bardsley in his kitchen. The impromptu showdown reportedly came the day after Manchester United’s loss at Swansea last month.

March 15, 2015

Yelp Match Review: Arsenal v West Ham

Arsenal beat West Ham 3-0 on Saturday, giving them eight consecutive Premier League wins at home. Josh Getman provides his Yelp review for the match.

March 13, 2015

Jose Mourinho offers life advice to Danny Downer journalist

Two days after getting knocked out of the Champions League by PSG, Jose Mourinho faced the press with an eagerness to defend both his players and himself from the heavy criticism they have been receiving. One journalist who was a little too negative for Mourinho’s liking unwittingly prompted the Portuguese to demonstrate his skills as a life coach.

March 12, 2015

Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher have a laugh while picking all-star charity match teams

Steven Gerrard and former teammate Jamie Carragher will captain the star-studded teams set to play each other in a charity match on March 29. And when they got together to divide up the players at their disposal, they had a few laughs at their and each others’ expense.

March 11, 2015

An evening in exile with Radamel Falcao

A mere 24 hours after serving as an unused substitute in Manchester United’s FA Cup loss to Arsenal (their first loss at home to Arsenal since 2006), Falcao started in a U-21 match against Spurs at Old Trafford. It wasn’t the manner in which a club usually has an on-loan player earn his £260,000 a week, but it does show the brand of anarchy currently gripping Man United.

The following is a rundown of what happened in this depressingly star-studded U-21 fixture.