Category: England

Derby County partly credit success to a reduction in swearing

Steve McClaren’s Derby County are currently third in the Championship (just one point behind leaders Middlesbrough) and first-team coach Paul Simpson says that the team’s conscious attempt to reduce how much they swear at people has helped them achieve that position. Because they have apparently discovered that most human beings don’t enjoy having curse word shouted in their face.

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Greedy Premier League player provokes hard-working fan into throwing more undeserved money at him

Not content with the £5.1 billion television rights deal signed by the Premier League a day earlier, Newcastle defender Fabricio Coloccini displayed the pure, unadulterated greed of the modern footballer by making a coin fly from the hand of a supporter at Selhurst Park, just as they were distracted by their own blinding fit of rage, and directly at his face.

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Conspiracy Theory: Harry Kane is a character designed by the FA and a marketing company

Harry Kane, the 21-year-old Spurs striker currently enjoying a run of form to rival Lionel Messi’s for best in the world, is not the person he seems to be. Of course, that’s easy to say when most observers of the game only just learned of his existence this season, but the creation of “Harry Kane” has been more than a decade in the making. And the objective is to produce the perfect mix of talent and benign likability in order to further propel the Premier League and English football to even greater financial and sporting success.

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Mario Balotelli finally scores Premier League goal for Liverpool, gets berated for not celebrating

(Reuters)
(Reuters)

With Liverpool and Spurs even at 2-2, Mario Balotelli replaced Daniel Sturrridge in the 74th minute for the home side. To many observers, this seemed like a curious and futile decision, since Balotelli hadn’t scored in his previous 12 Premier League appearances for Liverpool even with a healthy number of quality chances afforded to him.

But in the 83rd minute, Balotelli ended his goalless streak by sweeping the ball into the net from close range. He then did his trademark non-celebration before getting mobbed by his teammates, and Liverpool went on to win 3-2.

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The inner monologue of Man United’s press officer as Louis van Gaal defended his long balls

Oh God, what’s happening. What are these papers he has? Are they photocopies of his arse? I really hope they aren’t photocopies of his arse. This is bad. This is bad. This is bad. They’re going to eat him alive for this. What do I do? Should I just run? I can run and run and run and start a new life in Vienna, maybe. Surely they have nice, quiet football clubs where the managers don’t know how to use Microsoft Excel there.

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BBC reporter asks man on the street about 1967 Merseyside derby, gets a big surprise

Ahead of Liverpool’s visit to Goodison Park on Saturday, BBC North West Tonight reporter Stuart Flinders was talking to people in town about the derby. But when he asked one older gentleman about the 1967 edition that occurred in the fifth round of the FA Cup, the man’s eyes lit up.

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