Category: Europe

Chelsea break a window trying to park the bus in Paris

PSG’s Twitter account invoked the Chelsea parking the bus meme last weekend (jinxing themselves in the process) and before the two sides began their Champions League round of 16 showdown, Chelsea fueled a new round of jokes by literally having trouble parking their bus.

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David Luiz won’t celebrate if he scores against Chelsea, but he does call Mourinho and Blanc ugly

David Luiz is a man who likes to spread and express joy, but, sadly, he has chosen a profession where one man’s joy is too often interpreted as a personal insult to others. This is a result of the #RESPECT syndrome and football is currently being choked by its bitter self-importance.

Players are now expected to react as if they just watched the euthanization of their childhood pet when they score against their former club in order to satisfy the delicate sensibilities of far too many supporters and members of the press. So when David Luiz was asked what he would do if he scores against his old club when PSG face Chelsea in the Champions League round of 16, there was only one answer he was allowed to give.

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Flare smoke creates haunting images from Greek Cup match

The quarterfinals of the Greek Cup has rivals AEK Athens and Olympiacos facing each other and the first leg was kicked off amidst an atmosphere worthy of such a menace-filled encounter. Smoke from the multitude of flares lit throughout Olympiacos’ Karaiskasis Stadium filled the air and settled over the pitch, making it look like the match was being played in some kind of eerie netherworld.

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Demba Ba scores unintentional goal of the season with his backside

While Aston Villa couldn’t score a goal to save a box full of puppies, Demba Ba is putting them in even when he doesn’t realize it.

Ba seemed to have his 19th goal of the season in Besiktas’ Turkish SuperLig match against Mersin Idmanyurdu, but the goalkeeper made a fine save with his foot. The ball pinged back towards Ba though, bouncing off his rear end as he was face down on the ground, and looping into the empty net.

When Ba got back up on his knees, he wasn’t quick to celebrate as it seemed he had no idea what just happened. But even if he didn’t see it, the goal was still enough to help Besiktas to a 2-1 win.

Porto’s Jackson Martinez scores impressive backheel volley off a corner kick

Colombian international Jackson Martinez has scored 83 goals in 117 appearances across all competitions for Porto in his three seasons with the club, but he’s still finding incredible new ways to put the ball in the net. During Porto’s League Cup semifinal against Academica, Martinez scored one of his two goals with a backheel volley off a corner kick that might require him to pay royalties to Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Incredible backheels are becoming Martinez’s thing, though. Here’s another great one from a couple years ago…

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Standard Liege supporters welcome back their Judas, Steven Defour, with decapitation tifo

Belgium international Steven Defour spent five years with Standard Liege, serving as the club’s captain for all but his first season with the club. He then spent three seasons with Porto, but returned to his homeland this season with Anderlecht — Standard’s fiercest rivals.

This did not go over so hot with his old club’s supporters. So when Defour returned to the Maurice Dufrasne Stadium wearing the wrong colors, the fans greeted him with a giant banner featuring a Jason Vorhees type holding a blood splattered machete in one hand and Defour’s severed head in the other, along with the words “RED OR DEAD.” It was subtle, but the message seemed to be that Defour is now dead to them.

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