Category: Europe

Unhinged Eric Cantona shouts about Will Grigg, condoms, and Brexit

Eurosport has given Eric Cantona the platform to claim the title of “unofficial commissioner of football” and he is using this opportunity to rant about Euro 2016 in varying states of undress. In this video, Cantona expressing his Xavi-like displeasure with the state of the pitches in France, sings Northern Ireland stadium banger “Will Grigg’s On Fire,” and considers the possibility that Mario Götze is his illegitimate son.

It’s proof that we need Cantona to be the next FIFA president.

Albania players get cash bonus, diplomatic passports for Euro 2016 showing

Albania just missed out on reaching the knockout stage of Euro 2016 in their first appearance at the competition as one of just two third-place teams to be eliminated. Their win over Romania with their only goal of the tournament ensured that they went out on a positive note and it also helped them secure some fabulous parting gifts from their own government.

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Cristiano Ronaldo throws reporter’s microphone into a lake

The first two Euro 2016 group-stage matches plumbed new depths of misery for Cristiano Ronaldo, so going into Portugal’s suddenly important third match against Hungary, the goalless star wasn’t in the best of moods. So when a CMTV reporter approached him and simply asked “Are you ready for the match?” while the team was on a lovely stroll through Lyon ahead of the match, Cristiano grabbed his microphone and chucked it into a nearby lake.

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Joe Ledley celebrated Wales’ win over Russia with a one-man dance party

Wales beat Russia 3-0 to finish top of their Euro 2016 group on their first ever appearance in the competition and midfielder Joe Ledley, a sentient beard with a man attached to it, celebrated with a spectacular dance exhibition in front of the Welsh supporters.

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Pedro has better things to do than sit on the bench, isn’t sorry

It’s been a difficult year for Pedro. Last summer he left Barcelona due to lack of playing time and joined Chelsea, missing out on another league title with Barca in order to slog through a miserable mid-table finish in London. And now he’s traveled to France for Euro 2016, where he’s played a grand total of eight minutes in Spain’s first two matches. As a result of all this, he has reached his breaking point.

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