Category: Nonsense

Qatar’s definitive guide for journalists covering the 2022 World Cup preparations

A German TV crew was recently arrested in Qatar after filming a documentary entitled “Sold Football: Sepp Blatter and the Power of FIFA” in the 2022 World Cup host nation.

From the BBC:

The filmmakers claim they were only allowed to leave the country five days later without their filming equipment, laptops and mobile phones, which were sent on four weeks later with all data deleted.

Reporter Florian Bauer said: “Now it’s public. We got arrested in Qatar, interrogated by the police and the intelligence service. Not allowed to leave the country for days.”

This was all just a silly misunderstanding, though. One that other journalists covering Qatar’s World Cup preparations will hopefully learn from.

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Future News: Messi announces new baby, Cristiano Ronaldo announces plan for twins

Following Lionel Messi’s Instagram announcement that he and partner Antonella Roccuzzo are expecting their second child together, Cristiano Ronaldo has announced his plan for twins. This would give Ronaldo three children, while Messi would only have two.

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If it continued…. (Arsenal v Chelsea)

Arsenal and Chelsea settled for a scoreless draw at the Emirates, extending Jose Mourinho’s unbeaten streak against Arsene Wenger to 13 matches and putting Chelsea a step closer to a seemingly inevitable Premier League title.

Though Chelsea once again employed a strategy roughly akin to a bank handing you all of their money and daring you to escape with it, putting all the blame for the match’s lack of entertainment value on them is like blaming the guests at a party for it being dull. Arsenal had 12 shots, but just one on target. Surely the hosts must take some responsibility for poor planning and execution. And a distinct lack of guacamole.

But while others debate tactics, we must ask, “What if it conitnued?”

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If it continued… (Manchester United v Manchester City)

For the first time in five Premier League meetings, increasingly noisy neighbors Manchester United beat their reigning champion rivals Man City. They did it in emphatic fashion, too — winning 4-2 to go four points clear of fourth-place City. It was the type of result that could mark a definitive shift in the two clubs’ fortunes for years  come, but what if it continued?

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The inner thoughts of Cristiano Ronaldo as he scored five goals in one match for the first time

Cristiano Ronaldo scored five goals in a single match for the first time in his career to help Real Madrid to a 9-1 win against Granada. His first three all came within a span of just eight minutes and from there it only got better.

These are the inner thoughts of Cristiano Ronaldo as he enjoyed his most prolific day…

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Petr Cech’s expert analysis of Charlie Adam’s 65-yard goal against Chelsea

Though it is fair to say that I, Petr Cech, am a goalkeeping expert, I must admit that I feel unqualified to offer an analysis of Charlie Adam’s goal against Chelsea. I say that because, unlike Tibia Cornwall, I have never conceded a 65-yard goal to Mr. Charles Adam, of all people.

It’s a bit like asking the President of the United States what it’s like to press the button that destroys the whole world in one giant nuclear explosion. He’s never done it, so he just doesn’t know. I’ve never let Charlie Adam score a goal of the season contender from inside his own half, so I have a difficult time comprehending what that level of embarrassment could be like. I can tell you what it’s like to make big saves to help Chelsea win the Champions League final, but this…I’m afraid I just can’t comprehend it.

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