Barcelona are enjoying another wonderful season in which they have an eight-point lead over second-place Atletico Madrid (and 15-point lead over Real Madrid), but it is still a season marked by one incredibly odd blemish: a historically bad penalty conversion rate.
Category: Nonsense
Pictures of footballers euphorically spraying themselves with cologne
It has come to my attention that footballers really enjoy spraying cologne on themselves. Usually it’s because it’s their own branded scent, but the act of spritzing it on themselves seems to elevate them to a state of absolute nirvana.
Thankfully, there are images that capture this rare moment of pure elation. The absolute best example is this one from Cristiano Ronaldo’s recent launch of his newest fragrance Legacy…
Pep Guardiola chooses a strange time to explain his moon landing conspiracy theories to Joshua Kimmich
Guardiola: Hey! Hey, Joshy! Come here! You think the moon landing was real?
If it continued… (Spurs v Arsenal)
It was mutually assured disappointment in the north London derby as both Arsenal and Spurs proved yet again that they can’t win when it matters most. Despite being outplayed for much of the first half, Arsenal took a 1-0 only to have everything crumble around them in a span of seven minutes as Francis Coquelin was sent off before Spurs scored twice.
With a move into first place seeming inevitable, Spurs then conceded an equalizer to 10-man Arsenal in the 76th minute. To the delight of Leicester, the match ended 2-2, which means we really must ask “What if it continued?”
Manuel Pellegrini introduces Pep Guardiola to his new trophy and the concept of loyalty
Hello, Pep.
I’d like you to meet my old friend, the Capital One Cup. We first became acquainted with each other two years ago and now we have been reunited, which means I have won a trophy in 2016 and you have not. What a pity. A hilarious, wonderful pity.
Future News: Football matches to be replaced by 90 minutes of pure respect
FIFA has announced that from this day forward, all football matches will be replaced by “polite exhibitions of respect” in place of the actual playing of football.
A prayer from Juan Mata
Jose Mourinho hasn’t joined Manchester United yet, but stories are already being written about him shipping out Juan Mata, as he did at Chelsea in 2014. This is deeply troubling for the Spanish midfielder, so he has turned to the heavens for assistance in this dark time. This is his prayer.
Pep Guardiola to consider taking more than just jobs from other managers
Growing bored with taking prominent jobs out from under other managers, Pep Guardiola is now considering taking other things from them, like pets, family heirlooms, and their souls, as well.
Everything you need to know about Chelsea signing Matt Miazga
Chelsea have signed 20-year-old American defender Matt Miazga to a four and a half year deal, making him the club’s first signing from the United States. Miazga has been described as an “unknown,” so in the hopes of educating fans and media alike, here are some facts about Miazga that need be to be spread far and wide.
Classy fan refuses to celebrate after his new favorite club scores against old favorite club
A former Manchester United fan has drawn praise for nobly refusing to celebrate after his new favorite club, Arsenal, scored against his old favorite club.