Now that Lionel Messi is back from his international non-retirement and all is right with the world, Maradona would like to get back to questioning his character.
Category: South America
Everything Lionel Messi missed during his international retirement
Forty six days after announcing his international retirement in the immediate aftermath of missing a penalty in Argentina’s shootout loss to Chile in the Copa American Centenario final, he has triumphantly declared his return, having missed exactly zero international matches.
The second leg of the Copa Libertadores final started with a spectacular fireworks display
Colombia’s Atletico Nacional beat Ecuadorian underdogs Independiente del Valle 1-0 in the second leg of the Copa Libertadores final to win the competition for the first time since the Pablo Escobar funded days of 1989. But before the match even began, there was a celebratory atmosphere and the stands were lit up like the world’s largest firefly orgy.
Super happy dog interrupts Copa Libertadores match
The happiest attendee at the Copa Libertadores match between Deportivo Tachira and Pumas had to be the dog that invaded the pitch early in the first half. Play was halted as the Venezuelan dog jumped around from player to player, looking for someone to have some fun with.
Neymar, Luis Suarez have burger bet on Brazil-Uruguay outcome
Luis Suarez will play his first match for Uruguay since returning from his World Cup bite ban and he just so happens to be doing it against Barcelona teammate Neymar and Brazil in World Cup qualifying. Naturally, this occasion calls for a little wager.
DTotD: Freight train Carlos Tevez breaks goalkeeper’s jaw
To score on a goalkeeper is one thing, but to then break his jaw later in the match is just uncalled for. And yet, this is what Carlos Tevez did in Boca Juniors’ 4-1 win over Newell’s Old Boys last weekend.
Dog on the pitch prompts commentators to bark
A canine pitch invader interrupted a match between Union Santa Fe and Temperley in Argentina, delighting the television commentators so much that they began to bark like dogs.
The dog ran around a bit before one player subdued it with belly tickles and held it until an opponent awkwardly carried it off the pitch and handed it to an official.
Carlos Tevez has an impressive Bombonera foosball table
We know Carlos Tevez loves Boca Juniors since he left Europe to return to the club where his career began, but it goes even farther than that. Tevez is now the proud owner of a La Bombonera foosball table that is serious business. All this thing is missing is a tiny Maradona jumping around in the stands.
Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated development, Tevez’s former teammate at Juventus, Paul Pogba, now has Pokemon hair.
Gonzalo Jara kept his fingers out of Edinson Cavani’s butt
Chile’s Gonzalo Jara and Uruguay’s Edinson Cavani faced each other for the first time since the former was given a three-match ban for jamming a finger up the latter’s backside during last summer’s Copa America, and this time, Jara was able to keep his digits out of Cavani’s crevices.
DTotD: Velez Sarsfield player gives opponent a rectal exam during match
Perhaps inspired by Gonzalo Jara’s violation of Edinson Cavani during Copa America, Velez Sarsfield defender Emiliano Amor got a little too personal with Lanus’ Oscar Benitez during a Copa Argentina match.
After lightly punching Benitez in the kidney several times, Amor gripped him like a bowling ball.
The surprise prostate pinch went unpunished, but Lanus went on to advance on penalties.
This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: A chronicling of unfortunate events.