Two days after getting thumped 4-0 at home to Barcelona, Real Madrid president Florentino Perez called a press conference just to announce that manager Rafa Benitez hasn’t been sacked and share a few conspiracy theories. In other words, Rafa’s days are numbered. And maybe Perez’s too.
Category: Spain
Jose Mourinho had the best day
No one had a better Saturday than Jose Mourinho.
La Liga president admits to being a Real Madrid fan, proving every conspiracy theory ever
Fans of every La Liga club except Real Madrid have long believed that Los Blancos receive preferential treatment from those in charge, and now they have all the proof they need to claim validation.
Javier Tebas, Costa Rica born president of La Liga, has admitted to being a Real Madrid supporter.
From BeIN Sports:
“If I say I don’t support [Madrid], then that would be hypocritical and I would be painted as a liar,” he said in an interview with AS.
“And I certainly don’t like to be called a liar. Imagine if I said that I loved all teams, and then it came out that I supported Madrid since I was a boy, went to 27 Clasicos in the past, that I celebrated Madrid wins with friends in a bar. I prefer to call it as it is.”
Does this mean every penalty Real Madrid are awarded is a direct order from Tebas? Yep. Does it mean Barcelona and Atletico Madrid are being actively sabotaged at every turn? Of course. Does it mean that the Cristiano Ronaldo documentary will be shown at all official La Liga functions? You know it.
This, my friends, is indisputable proof that the Illuminati is real.
Neymar scores goal that will make you forget Lionel Messi’s name
Neymar had a second-half brace in Barcelona’s 3-0 win over Villarreal (naturally Luis Suarez scored the other goal). It was the final goal of the day that stood out as worthy of Puskas award consideration, though.
Barcelona players dumped fake blood all over Getafe bathroom
Following Barcelona’s official apology for their costumed players interrupting a Getafe player’s post-match press conference on Halloween, it has now been revealed that they also dumped a bunch of red paint all over the dressing room bathroom, according to AS.
Of course, given Gerard Pique’s propensity to bleed, there’s a good chance it wasn’t all paint…
Barcelona apologize after costumed players interrupt wrong press conference
Following Barcelona’s 2-0 win at Getafe, several Barca players decided to get into the Halloween spirit and dress up in costumes. They then attempted to put those costumes to use by invading the press room to scare manager Luis Enrique only to find that Luis Enrique wasn’t there. Instead, a very confused Getafe player, Victor Rodriguez stared at them as they busted in screaming and yelling.
Quickly realizing their mistake the Barca players quietly hurried out the back of the room.
Later, the club issued an official apology on their website.
Why Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t score more free kicks
Real Madrid’s scoreless draw with PSG on Wednesday highlighted Cristiano Ronaldo’s extended struggle in an area where he once dazzled. Cristiano has only scored two of his last 89 direct free kicks — a far cry from the days earlier in his career when he would knock them in from any angle and at any distance. And yet, he keeps taking them and he keeps squandering them.
Valencia official stops muslim player from removing beer sponsor’s bottle from press conference
Commerce is the only religion that modern football has room for and Valencia defender Shkodran Mustafi found that out upon arriving for a press conference.
When Mustafi, who is muslim, saw that a bottle of beer had been set in front of where he would be sitting for product placement purposes, he moved it aside as a club employee adjusted the microphone. Mustafi told the man that he didn’t want the beer in front of him since his religion prohibits him from posing with alcoholic beverages. But instead of saying “Oh, ok, that’s totally understandable,” the guy picked up the beer and put it back in its original place.
Mustafi then expressed his disgust and shook his head.
And that’s what happens when a player asks their club to put him ahead of a sponsor.
Neymar’s hair is gone
Neymar, previously thought to be little more than a life support system for his talented hair, arrived for Barcelona’s match against Las Palmas bald. The shock of seeing him without his famous hair tore Lionel Messi’s MCL in the 10th minute of the game. He will be out seven to eight weeks.
Neymar’s hair disappearance has already proven disastrous as he missed a penalty in the 66th minute of Barca’s 2-0 win.
This comes just five days after Neymar was unveiled as a new spokesman for Gillette. It’s unclear if he was paid to go bald, but if he was he must now realize that no amount of money is worth living this type of nightmare.
Cristiano Ronaldo introduces his new fragrance “Buttloads of Goals”
Having endured an agonizing spell of two matches without scoring, Cristiano Ronaldo decided to go ahead and score five against Espanyol. He scored his initial hat trick within the first 20 minutes of the 6-0 win, then added two more in the second half for good measure.