Sometimes, it really pays to have a friend who will protect your modesty when you need to urinate in front of thousands of people. Read more
Category: Spain
Lionel Messi’s monopolization of football’s records must be stopped
Records are an important part of sports. They provide a context that links the past and present, giving younger generations a means to appreciate what came before their time. They allow the names of legends to live on beyond the confines of their brief careers. And by monopolizing football’s records, Lionel Messi is destroying everything.
Gareth Bale can’t handle the spiders in Spain
Aside from the jeering fans and occasional dirty looks from Cristiano Ronaldo when he doesn’t pass the ball, Gareth Bale’s time with Real Madrid has gone swimmingly thus far. In fact, there are only two things that the Welshman says he fears in Spain: nutmegs and spiders.
Carles Puyol is inventing dangerous new ways to kiss
Since retiring from football last season and then quitting his position as ousted Barcelona director Andoni Zubizarreta’s assistant last month, Carles Puyol has apparently been very busy inventing new and dangerous ways to kiss his wife.
We’ve seen the couple’s acrobatic yoga poses before, but this is on another level. If Puyol doesn’t find a new job soon, maybe they’ll put out a death-defying new Kama Sutra. A very hairy, death-defying new Kama Sutra.
Arda Turan given appropriate birthday cake days after throwing boot at linesman
Atlético Madrid hero Arda Turan turns 28 today…looks like he celebrated with a somewhat appropriate ‘boot’ cake pic.twitter.com/5MUe3JltsD
— AS English (@English_AS) January 30, 2015
During Wednesday’s action-packed Copa del Rey tie between Atletico Madrid and Barcelona, Arda Turan was so enraged by a refereeing decision that he threw one of his own boots at the referee. Amazingly, the Turkish midfielder was only given a yellow card for this heinous misappropriation of sporting apparel.
If it continued… (Atletico Madrid v Barcelona)
The second leg of Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey semifinal against Barcelona had it. A skillful Fernando Torres goal within the first minute, Jordi Alba getting smacked in the head by the linesman’s flag, Torres shoving Neymar while walking off the pitch at halftime, Gabi getting a red card in the tunnel, Arda Turan throwing his own boot, and Barcelona came from behind to win 3-2 (4-2 on aggregate). It even had a player — Atletico’s Cristian Ansaldi — who was detained by police on his way into the stadium for slamming his car door on a cop’s hand!
Clearly this match had everything (a man threw his own boot!) and more. Yet many of you still requested that we ask that old chestnut of a question: What if it continued?
Jordi Alba gets smacked in the head by linesman’s flag, Arda Turan fights back
If Diego Costa and Cristiano Ronaldo get charged with violent conduct for kicking people, then this linesman should get charged for smacking Jordi Alba in the head with his flag during the second leg of Barcelona and Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey tie. That’s assault with a deadly weapon. Jordi Alba needs to lead a “#DisallowLinesmanViolence” campaign. Read more
Barca supporting nun gets abused on Twitter for Cristiano Ronaldo comment
Sister Lucia Caram, an Argentine nun living in Catalonia loves FC Barcelona and, of course, Lionel Messi. This love is well known. In 2013, she told Mundo Deportivo that “not supporting Barca is a sin.” Though she describes the club as “a way of being, acting, living, thinking” and the embodiment of “fair play and humility,” she clearly has a sense of humor about football and doesn’t shy away from tongue in cheek comments, either.
And it is in that spirit that she boarded the Banter Bus and tweeted “Cristiano: Golden ball or fist?” after Cristiano Ronaldo got himself sent off during Real Madrid’s match against Cordoba on Saturday.
Cristiano Ronaldo gets sent off for kicking opponent, isn’t bothered
Real Madrid beat Cordoba 2-1 despite being reduced to 10 men when Cristiano Ronaldo was sent off in the 82nd minute after having a casually insane meltdown. Here’s how it played out…
How Martin Odegaard’s father earned contracts for himself and his son at Real Madrid
Real Madrid have unveiled new signing Martin Odegaard — the 16-year-old Norwegian who became the youngest player to ever appear in a Euro qualifier last year and attracted the interest of every major club in Europe. He will reportedly be paid a whopping €80,000 and his transfer fee was between €3-8 million. Though the financial specifics haven’t been disclosed by the club, they did announce that Martin’s father, Hans Erik, will also join Real Madrid as a youth coach.
On the surface, this appears to be a familiar story of too much too soon facilitated by a shady, backroom deal to curry favor with the parents of an overhyped child. But both contracts might be more deserved than many will assume.
Shortly after Martin earned his historic call-up to Norway’s senior national team at 15, Hans Erik went on Nordic television to explain that his son’s meteoric development was no accident.