Category: Uncategorized

Berbatov is narrating videos of his goals on Instagram

Long-time Dirty Tackle contributor Dimitar Berbatov hung up his boots (and his mayonnaise filled gloves) after a 20-year footballing career and now he’s passing the time by narrating some of his greatest goals on his Instagram account. I would do the same thing, but 1) I can’t be bothered to start an Instagram, and 2) All footage of the goals I scored over my career has been confiscated as part of an ongoing match-fixing investigation.

Anyway, Berbatov’s commentary is brilliant. His confidence, knowledge, and his use of the word “fuck” really set him apart from the numpties who do commentary on the tele. Have a look:

 

“Simple as fuck and so beautiful” is a perfect description of the game at its finest and how Victoria Beckham once described her husband to me after I convinced him to try and start an MLS team in Miami, Florida.

Anyways, Go to The Berba’s Instagram for the goal commentary and stay for the photos of him posing with unsettling portraits of himself.

Conspiracy Theory: Joey Barton got himself suspended by Rangers to promote his new book

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Hours after Rangers announced that they are suspending ex-con midfielder Joey Barton for three weeks over a training-ground spat with an unnamed teammate, his shifty mug was plastered across newspaper backpages hawking his new autobiography.

Barton’s return to antagonizing his own teammates is arguably his most notable act since he was sent off for hitting Tom Huddlestone in the penis before washing out of the Premier League back in 2015. Which is quite the coincidence given that his book, titled “No Nonsense” and published by Simon & Schuster, is released on Thursday.

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Fabio Borini is apparently Leo Messi’s style idol

Leo Messi has added platinum blond hair to his unlucky beard, making him look like someone completely different. Namely, Fabio Borini.

The Sunderland striker, who has also gone for platinum hair and a human color beard this summer, is wondering if Messi was inspired by him and it’s easy to see why he might think that. Aside from the fact that Messi probably doesn’t even know who Fabio Borini is, of course.

Dani Alves is kicking open beer bottles

Dani Alves has left Barcelona after eight tremendously successful years with the club to join Italian champions Juventus and to celebrate, he’s kicking the caps off of beer bottles.

Why is he doing this? Well, why does Dani Alves do anything that Dani Alves does? It’s not a question that can be answered. Just enjoy his zest for life and be thankful he’s not putting his foot to the beer that may or may not be in your hand right now.

Götze and Balotelli are together on the Island of Misfit Marios

Mario Götze is 23 years old and the scorer of the winning goal in the 2014 World Cup final. But this season, as Bayern Munich won the domestic double, Götze only made 21 appearances and scored only six goals — career lows in both categories. He would like to stay with the club, but Bayern CEO Karl-Heinz Rummenigge has publicly said “No one here wants you. We told you that. Why are you doing this?” (Not his exact words.)

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Brendan Rodgers is boxing now

Brendan Rodgers is rumored to be headed to Celtic or back to Swansea next season, bringing an end to his, erm, colorful time off since getting sacked by Liverpool last October. So he’s getting into fighting shape by boxing with a new trainer who has demonstrated that he is either making fun of him or is just as oblivious as Brendan himself with the Instagram post above.

In the video, Rodgers trains with boxing gloves in an empty garage with Kanye West’s “Power” serving as the soundtrack. The ferocious look in his eyes tells you he’s imagining either Jurgen Klopp or Mario Balotelli as he goes to town on his trainer’s punch mitts.

Anyway, this has been your regular update on what Brendan Rodgers has been up to. Sadly, there isn’t going to be a sequel to Being: Liverpool about the last six months of his life.