Just in case you weren’t convinced that Luis Suarez is completely devoid of the ability to take responsibility for his own actions, his latest comments on his bite victims should clear that up. According to Suarez, Branislav Ivanovic and Giorgio Chiellini deserve blame for being bitten by him since they were annoying. Victim blaming ahoy!
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Celtic’s Leigh Griffiths smuggled a snack onto the bench during St. Mirren win
Sitting on the bench and watching your teammates run around can make you hungry. And since Celtic striker Leigh Griffiths is smart, he had the foresight to stash a teacake in his pocket so he could enjoy it while watching his side’s match against St. Mirren from the bench.
As tends to happen when you bring a treat for later, Griffiths ended up eating his Tunnock’s Tea Cake early on in what would be a 2-0 win for Celtic. Maybe he knew that he wouldn’t feature in the match. Or maybe he didn’t.
Leo Messi and 7-foot-7 Gheorghe Muresan pictured together at an NBA game
“Hola, Gheorghe” – Leo Messi #WizPacers pic.twitter.com/7VnZhZKdv5
— Monumental Network (@MonumentalNtwrk) March 26, 2015
In Washington, DC for Saturday’s friendly against El Salvador, the entire Argentina squad went to the Washington Wizards-Indiana Pacers NBA game on Wednesday night. This provided the opportunity for a truly delightful image: 5-foot-7 Lionel Messi shaking hands with 7-foot-7 former Wizards (then Bullets) center Gheorghe Muresan, the tallest player in NBA history.
The Wizards also presented Messi with the No. 10 jersey, eliciting mental images of the Argentine nutmegging opponents on the court with a basketball. And if you think Messi would be too small to compete in the NBA, remember that ex-Washington point guard Muggsy Bogues was just 5-foot-3. Read more
Real Madrid ban supporter for assaulting players’ cars after Clasico loss
Following Real Madrid’s 2-1 loss at Barcelona, a pair of the club’s more unrepentantly turdish supporters decided to wait for the players to retrieve their cars upon returning to Madrid and then abuse said cars as they departed. Clearly, these guys have very full and rewarding lives.
Mario Balotelli posts video reminder that he does what he wants
On the eve of Liverpool’s big match against Manchester United, Mario Balotelli posted (and subsequently deleted) a video to his Instagram account clarifying two things:
1) That he supports Liverpool.
2) That he does what he wants.
The solutions to Chelsea’s “penalty puzzle”
Earlier this week, Chelsea’s official website published an unusual article highlighting the low number of penalties awarded to them this season (spoiler: it’s two).
Filed in the “news” section, the article was simply titled, “Penalty Puzzle,” which seems to imply a link to manager Jose Mourinho’s belief that there is a sinister conspiracy actively working against his team. Because puzzles are purposefully arranged circumstances and not the result of mere coincidence, which is something that doesn’t exist. In fact, that’s probably not even a real word.
During his Friday press conference, Mourinho discussed the article. From the Telegraph:
“Our two closest challengers in the Premier League this season, Manchester City and Arsenal, have both been awarded seven penalties, the most in the division,” said the article. “Last term the two teams that finished above us, Man City and Liverpool, were awarded more penalties than any other team bar us.
“Of course it could be that when teams have played the league leaders they have been particularly careful inside their own area. We all have plenty of recollections suggesting this is not the case however.”
Mourinho went on to say that he thinks it was “a very objective article” and “not an opinion article that can lead to discussions. It’s just the numbers.”
Every puzzle has a solution, though. And this one has several.
Bari player celebrates goal with Peppa Pig doll
Bari beat Varese 3-0 in Serie B on Saturday and the match produced the latest in odd goal celebration props. Bari defender Stefano Sabelli scored the home side’s second goal by heading in the rebound off a free kick that hit the post. He then ran to the bench and retrieved a Peppa Pig doll, which he held aloft towards the stands while also pushing up his nose like a pig’s.
Boca Juniors celebrate Dani Osvaldo’s first goal with group photo
Argentine-born Italian striker Dani Osvaldo scored his first two goals for Boca Juniors (his fourth club in two years) in their Copa Libertadores match against Zamora. Boca were already up 3-0 when Osvaldo scored his first goal in the 69th minute, so to commemorate the occasion, he and his teammates all ran to the touchline so a member of the club’s staff could take a group photo before the match could continue.
DT Exclusive: Ask Kaka (Inaugural MLS edition)
Kaka and Orlando City are ready to begin their first season in MLS against fellow newcomers NYCFC and to mark the occasion, the 32-year-old Brazilian was once again kind enough to answer the questions of local school children. The following is a transcript of that session.
Nemanja Matic injured himself while celebrating Chelsea’s cup win
Nemanja Matic wasn’t available for Chelsea’s 1-0 win at West Ham since he was finishing out his two-match ban for shoving the man who went unpunished after nearly snapped his leg in two. But after the game, Jose Mourinho revealed that he couldn’t have played even if he wasn’t suspended because he injured himself while celebrating Chelsea’s Capital One Cup final win on Sunday…a.k.a. the other match in which Matic did not play.