Francesco Totti had a weird idea for his final match with Roma

It’s a good thing they weren’t awarded a penalty with him on the pitch

(AS Roma)

A lot of thought and planning went into Francesco Totti’s final match with Roma, but according to teammate Juan Jesus, the captain kept changing his mind on the decision in the days leading up to his farewell. He even formulated an insane strategy if he had the chance to take a penalty in the match.

From ESPN FC:

“He was nervous all week,” Jesus told Porto Alegre-based station Radio Atlantida. “One day he would say, ‘I’m quitting,’ and the next he would be, ‘I’m going to keep playing.’ Before Roma-Genoa, we all got together in the dressing room and he said, ‘If I get a penalty, I won’t score it, I’ll kick the ball into the Curva [Sud].’

“There wasn’t a penalty so instead he sent an autographed ball into the Curva after the game. Totti is a fantastic person and he deserves far more than just that party. He’s somebody who helps those in need a lot, without anybody needing to know about it.”

Now, it’s important to remember that this match had serious implications for Roma behind Totti’s sendoff. They were still battling Napoli for second place in Serie A and an automatic place in the Champions League group stage. They only won that decisive match against Genoa by a 3–2 margin on a Diego Perotti goal in the 90th minute. So Totti blasting a penalty into the stands in this situation would’ve been absolutely bananas.

And people thought John Terry orchestrating a guard of honor upon his substitution in the 26th minute of his final (far less meaningful) match was crazy.

Christian Pulisic proves he’s just not very good in 2–0 win over Trinidad and Tobago

The 18-year-old “wunderkid” continues to hurt the U.S. national team

After saving face for the U.S. with a second-half equalizer in a friendly against Venezuela last week, Christian Pulisic again did all the scoring in a 2–0 World Cup qualifier win over Trinidad and Tobago. Though his performances have drawn even more sycophantic praise for the 18 year old, a closer look reveals how underserving he is of the lofty praise being heaped upon him.

Here are just a few of the reasons why Pulisic needs to be left off the team going forward:

What happens if he gets hurt? They’re screwed, that’s what. They’re entirely dependent on Pulisic and he’s only 18. If this continues, he’s going to get used to doing it all himself and that’ll breed resentment in his teammates, especially if a player who is truly talented comes along. Also, why does he only set up goals for Clint Dempsey? Is there some kind of quid pro quo going on here? Did Dempsey agree to buy beer for the underage star and his friends whenever he sets him up for a goal? This needs to be investigated.

        • He doesn’t make his teammates better. The greatest players in any team sport elevate their teammates to a higher level just by playing with them. Pulisic doesn’t do this. If anything, he serves as a talent vacuum on the pitch, sucking up every ounce of skill from those around him. Just look at what he did to Alejandro Bedoya:

        • Pele won his first World Cup at 17 years old. Pulisic won’t even PLAY in his first World Cup until he’s 19 years old. This fact speaks for itself. Damning.
        • He makes EVERYONE look bad. What did he do after scoring two goals in a World Cup qualifier? He went and hugged his mom in the stands, reminding every other parent in America that their kid isn’t making money in Europe as a professional athlete (instead of creating mountains of debt by going to college) and demonstrating their gratitude and affection on national television after scoring two goals in a World Cup qualifier. He doesn’t just make his teammates look bad, he makes everyone look bad.

      • He’s probably Big Chocolate’s diabolical attempt to get kids to eat more candy. Pulisic is from Hershey, PA, which was founded along with the candy company of the same name by Milton Hershey in the early 1900s. Having a prominent athlete come from a town inextricably linked to chocolate gives impressionable children and misguided parents the idea that eating as many Hershey products as possible will bring similar athletic success to what Pulisic is achieving. In other words, promoting Christian Pulisic is akin to promoting childhood obesity. Inexcusable.
      • He still hasn’t accepted my Facebook friend request. Who does he think he is?! With an ego that’s already this out of control, he’s going to sabotage his career sooner than later.

There are many more reasons why Pulisic is a complete and total fraud, but it simply isn’t worth wasting anymore words on him. Now, since he is still so young, he could use these criticisms to drive him forward on a path of legitimate success (starting by accepting my friend request), instead of succumbing to the otherwise universal fawning praise being laid at his feet and flaming out like so many promising young footballers before him, but that’s entirely up to him. I have now done my part.

DT Exclusive: Jurgen Klopp’s secret messages to Virgil van Dijk

The texts that prompted an investigation into Liverpool’s conduct

Liverpool have been forced to apologize and end their pursuit of top transfer target Virgil van Dijk after Southampton filed a complaint accusing them of tapping up their captain. According to the Telegraph, Van Dijk was flown to Blackpool for a meeting with Klopp, who later sent “regular messages” to the player. The following is a transcript of some of those messages.

Klopp (2:47 am): Virgil…u up?
Klopp (3:35 am): U up Virgil??
Klopp (4:19 am): Guess not 🙁
Van Dijk (7:32 am): Sorry i was sleepin lol.
Klopp (7:33 am): LOL! Just wanted to say goodnight but now i’ll say good morning :p
Van Dijk (7:48 am): Good morning!
Klopp (7:49 am): It is now 🙂

Klopp (6:51 pm): Virgil, what’s ur snapchat?
Klopp (6:52 pm): U have to see this photo of me with the rabbit ears filter!
Klopp (6:53 pm): U have to see it.
Klopp (6:54 pm): Virgil…
Klopp (6:55 pm): Tell me where u are and I’ll just come show u in person.
Klopp: (6:56 pm): Virgil…

Klopp (10:07 am): Have u ever seen the film The Cable Guy???
Van Dijk (10:33 am): Don’t think so.
Klopp (10:34 am): Oh man! It’s so good! Jim Carrey and Ferris Bueller play best friends who would do anything for each other. It reminds me of u and me 😀
Van Dijk (11:10 am): Cool
Klopp (11:11 am): It’s very cool! I have the DVD. I would be happy to lend it to u so u can watch it. But I only lend DVDs to my players 😉
Van Dijk (11:58 am): Ok.
Klopp (11:59 am): 😉

Klopp (1:44 am): Virgil, I really want to see u again. When can we meet?
Van Dijk (8:39 am): Jurgen, this is Southampton chairman Ralph Krueger. Your contact with Virgil has been wholly inappropriate. We’re reporting you to the league.
Klopp (8:42 am): 🙁

Klopp (3:08 am): Virgil, u up?
Klopp (3:12 am): I’m watching The Cable Guy. Made me think of u…
Klopp (3:17 am): Miss u
Klopp (4:45 am): Whatever. I don’t need u. Dejan Lovren is soooo much better than u!
Klopp (4:55 am): Virgil I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I know u can’t come to Liverpool now but maybe I’ll come to Southampton! I’ll talk to my agent! Are there any houses in your neighborhood for sale? Let me know!

Player washes his mouth out with beer thrown on the pitch during Bulgarian playoff final

Why bother with water when there’s beer right there?

In the playoff final to decide which club would go on to the Europa League next season, tensions were high as Levski Sofia hosted Vereya. So high that fans threw cans of beer onto the pitch during the first half. Not one to let beer go to waste, Vereya defender Ivan Bandalovski picked up one of the cans and poured its contents into his mouth, then spit it out.

Later, with Levski up 1–0 in the final moments of added time, Bandalovski scored the equalizer that sent the match to extra time. Because when beer hits your lips, you develop superior abilities. This is science.

Levski went on to win in a penalty shootout, beating Vereya 9–8 after missing two of their first four shots (Bandalovski make his, naturally).

Anyway, Levski fans should be banned for wasting beer. Unforgivable.