Injuries can't stop Mendy from creating that sweet, sweet digital content.
Tag: Arsenal
Alexis Sanchez and Henrikh Mkhitaryan accidentally realize their dreams at the same time
Behold! The magical wonders of the January transfer window.
Arsene Wenger claims that winning fewer trophies makes his record more impressive than Alex Ferguson’s
"Anyone can keep their job for a long time when they win the title every year," says Wenger.
Arsenal attempt to pacify Alexis Sanchez with dog sweaters
A desperate bid to lift the spirits of their unhappy star.
The highlights of Mesut Özil’s house tour
A peek inside the nicest Adidas display case in London.
Arsene Wenger’s deep thoughts during Arsenal 4-3 Leicester City
A rollercoaster of emotions to start the season.
Arsenal complete historic preseason treble
Arsenal: Preseason legends.
And now…Arsenal players doing kung fu in China
The one redeeming feature of an overseas tour: Ridiculous photographs.
Arsenal unveil new home kit with strange press release
They make it way too easy
I get it. Trying to come up with something exciting and new to say about the annual kit releases is hard. In Arsenal’s case, you really just want to say “It’s red with white sleeves, it’s way too tight, and you’ll probably be disappointed by who is actually wearing it this season,” but you can’t say that. Instead, Puma and Arsenal came up with this poetic oddity:
That’s real. See for yourself. They also included some strange videos, like this one:
Why do Arsenal do this to themselves? Aren’t there enough jokes about them already? The intensity of their masochism is unmatched in world football.
Arsene Wenger gloats about his new contract
A brief statement from the Arsenal manager after signing his two-year extension
Thought you could get rid of me, did you? With your signs and your plane banners and your Twitter campaigns. Well you tried to fight the zombie apocalypse with water pistols and you lost. Your memes and your YouTube rants have no effect here in Wenger World. Emirates Stadium arose through the sheer force of my frugal will. The only thing that matters here is finishing in fourth place. And even that doesn’t matter anymore. HAHAHAHA!
Perhaps I would have retired if you sniveling ingrates had not awoken my wrath. Insolence of this magnitude deserves smiting. And with this new contract, that is what I will do.
How will I do it, your trembling eyeballs ask?
I will only sign players who even the makers of Football Manager 2017 have never heard of. Ticket prices will rise even further, and the club’s website will broadcast a 24-hour live webcam of our unparalleled and untouched cash reserves as it sits idly forever. I will let Spurs continue to finish above us every season, and once my new contract expires, I will sign another. And another. And another.
I will outlast all of you. Why? Because I am immortal. I am The Highlander. I am the fucking Lizard King of the FA Cup. Bow down before your eternal overlord and repent! REPENT!
Wenger. In.
