Tag: Arsenal

Phil Jones defends like something out of a nature special

In a match that featured Chris Smalling as captain of Manchester United, Phil Jones’ golden retriever on an icy pond method of defending was the oddest thing to happen during the first half of Man United v Arsenal. Hilarious and ultimately somehow effective, but still odd.

An Arsenal fan had his girlfriend take a written exam about the club

It started with a warning shortly before Sunday’s match between Arsenal and Chelsea. Twitter user @saskiaisabxlla shared a screenshot of a text message later revealed to be from her boyfriend. It read “I might make an Arsenal exam for you” and was followed by the threat of “If you fail, we’re through.”

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If it continued…. (Arsenal v Chelsea)

Arsenal and Chelsea settled for a scoreless draw at the Emirates, extending Jose Mourinho’s unbeaten streak against Arsene Wenger to 13 matches and putting Chelsea a step closer to a seemingly inevitable Premier League title.

Though Chelsea once again employed a strategy roughly akin to a bank handing you all of their money and daring you to escape with it, putting all the blame for the match’s lack of entertainment value on them is like blaming the guests at a party for it being dull. Arsenal had 12 shots, but just one on target. Surely the hosts must take some responsibility for poor planning and execution. And a distinct lack of guacamole.

But while others debate tactics, we must ask, “What if it conitnued?”

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This might be Jose Mourinho’s favorite press conference question ever

Jose Mourinho has a complicated relationship with the press. In many ways, he feeds off them and their tidal mix of antagonism and reverence for him. Even when he’s making a point of not speaking to them, he demonstrates how important the relationship is to him. But his Friday press conference ahead of facing second-place Arsenal might have produced his favorite question yet.

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Arsenal reach FA Cup final on pitiful goalkeeping error

Arsenal required extra time to beat Reading 2-1 in the FA Cup semifinals. Alexis Sanchez scored both of Arsenal’s goals, but the second was a gift that will haunt Reading keeper Adam Federici until he jams a pencil into his ear in a desperate attempt to forget the pain.

Having already made several fine stops on the day to force Arsenal into extra time, Federici let a routine save squirt through his legs. To make it even more excruciating, he tried to make the full-reach, last ditch attempt to pull it off the goal line, but he just couldn’t do it (3:48 into the video below).

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This is a 93-year-old Reading fan making fun of Arsene Wenger

Reading will face Arsenal in the FA Cup semifinals on Saturday and 93-year-old Royals fan Ciss Platten will be in attendance at Wembley. Platten was alive when Reading last reached the FA Cup semifinals in 1927, when they lost 3-0 to Cardiff City. So this match could bring (very) long awaited satisfaction for her — satisfaction made all the sweeter since she doesn’t care much for Arsenal or their manager.

From the Guardian:

For her, that the opponents are Arsenal has added extra spice to the tie. She is not the greatest admirer of the north London team nor of their manager, Arsène Wenger, a notoriously poor loser. “We call him ‘Arsène Whinger’,” Platten says. “Funny thing, it was in the paper the other day – ‘Whinger’. He’s always whinging, he’s always having a moan.” Platten laughs mischievously. As she does a lot.

Yet her distaste for all things Arsenal runs a bit deeper, right back to the late 1920s. Blame her father, Arthur. “I didn’t really know about football then but dad used to stand by the window on a Sunday morning checking his Pools coupon,” Platten says. “And he’d say: ‘Bloody hell, Arsenal have let me down again.’

“He was always grumbling about them. ‘That blasted team’ he called them. I think that’s maybe why I’ve always disliked Arsenal.”

Yes, Arsene — you just got burned by a great-great grandmother. That’s a mind game even Jose Mourinho can’t match.