Tag: Barcelona

Pep Guardiola is using Zidane to sabotage Real Madrid (probably)

Pep Guardiola has agreed to host a group of French coaches, including Real Madrid Castilla Zinedine Zidane, at Bayern Munich’s training complex this week. According to ESPN FC and AS, the French delegation (which also includes Claude Makelele and Willy Sagnol) are observing Guardoila’s training sessions this week in an effort to soak up the expert knowledge on offer as they work towards their UEFA Pro Level Three Licenses.

Given Guardiola’s lasting allegiance to Barcelona, it seems highly unlikely that he would actively try and help the man tipped to be Real Madrid’s next manager. So it stands to reason that this is all an elaborate ruse to feed Zidane (and fellow ex-Real Madrid player Makelele?) false information.

Some top tips that Guardiola is probably sharing with Zidane:

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Leo Messi is the designated driver for the Clasico afterparty

A photo posted by Nj (@neymarjr) on

Barcelona beat Real Madrid 2-1 at the Camp Nou and judging by Neymar’s post-match Instagram photo, the Barca players celebrated the result by putting on their most ridiculous clubbing attire and piling into Uncle Leo Messi’s minivan for a night on the town.

Dani Alves wore his gold shoes, Neymar a red leather jacket, Adriano had on a denim one with gaudy cuff flair, Rafinha decided to be a hitman, and Douglas was a cross between Carlton Banks and a nightclub owner. Then there was Messi, who looked like he was dressed by his mother — perhaps fitting since he has a tattoo of her face on his shoulder.

Anyway, it’s good to see that the boys had a designated driver for the evening. And that Uncle Leo isn’t just sitting home with his Lego collection.

Barcelona’s pre-Clasico mosaic was rather beautiful

The impossible hype that consistently surrounds El Clasico should be enough to make the match itself a regular disappointment and yet it still lives up to the expectations almost every single time. A big part of this is the incomparable atmosphere. And Barcelona demonstrated this with their pre-match mosaic at the Camp Nou, accompanied by the 98,000 components of it singing their hearts out.

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s expert analysis of the Champions League quarterfinal draw

Gianni Infantino has stopped talking long enough to do the Champions League quarterfinal draw and I must say I am disappointed. First, because UEFA only reduced my ban for that stupid red card against Chelsea to one game instead of wiping it completely and begging for my forgiveness. Second, because they said that my idea to open the draw by using a French referee as a human Zlacrifice to acknowledge that PSG are too good for France was “inappropriate.” And third because I must wait even longer to get my revenge on Pep Guardiola, who gets super lucky again.

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Pep Guardiola does a miserable job of hiding how happy he is to watch Barca

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It’s been about three years since Pep Guardiola stepped down as Barcelona manager, but on Wednesday he returned to the Camp Nou as a spectator. Ostensibly, he was there to scout a team that might face his Bayern Munich in the next round of the Champions League, but his reactions to the game made it clear that he was also very much a fan. Even though he tried to hide it.

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Neymar and Dani Alves play fun game of “kick Luis Suarez” during Barcelona training session

Though Luis Suarez has become an important member of Barcelona’s squad in his first season with the club, there’s something about him that remains distinctly…kickable. Teammates Neymar and Dani Alves demonstrated this during a recent training session.

This was surely just a bit of playfulness between teammates, but if Barca are looking for a new revenue stream, they could start charging members of the general public to play this game, too. They would never need a Qatari shirt sponsor again.

Lionel Messi’s monopolization of football’s records must be stopped

Records are an important part of sports. They provide a context that links the past and present, giving younger generations a means to appreciate what came before their time. They allow the names of legends to live on beyond the confines of their brief careers. And by monopolizing football’s records, Lionel Messi is destroying everything.

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Messi and Pique’s casino night propels Barcelona past Man City at the Etihad

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The night before Barcelona traveled to Manchester for the first leg of their Champions League round of 16 tie against Man City, Lionel Messi and Gerard Pique made a “late-night” trip to a casino with former teammate Cesc Fabregas. This prompted the same reaction it always does when footballers do something that normal humans do: MEDIA OUTRAGE!!!

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Portrait of crying Gerard Pique, other Barca art to be auctioned off for charity

Have you ever dreamed of hanging a portrait of a crying Gerard Pique in your home? Of course you have. And now’s your chance to make that strange dream a reality. On February 12, Sotheby’s in London will auction off 18 works — some related to Barcelona and others not — to support the FC Barcelona Foundation and UNICEF. One of those works is the portrait of Pique as Apollo Belvedere by Francesco Vezzoli pictured above.

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If it continued… (Atletico Madrid v Barcelona)

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The second leg of Atletico Madrid’s Copa del Rey semifinal against Barcelona had it. A skillful Fernando Torres goal within the first minute, Jordi Alba getting smacked in the head by the linesman’s flag, Torres shoving Neymar while walking off the pitch at halftime, Gabi getting a red card in the tunnel, Arda Turan throwing his own boot, and Barcelona came from behind to win 3-2 (4-2 on aggregate). It even had a player — Atletico’s Cristian Ansaldi — who was detained by police on his way into the stadium for slamming his car door on a cop’s hand!

Clearly this match had everything (a man threw his own boot!) and more. Yet many of you still requested that we ask that old chestnut of a question: What if it continued?

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