I’m Ronaldo. Barry Ronaldo. Cristiano Ronaldo’s identical twin brother. Since everybody always thinks I’m him, sometimes Cristiano lets me take his place so he can have a break from his crazy life. You probably think that sounds like fun, but it’s not because everything always goes wrong for me. For example, I recently mistook a tube of hemorrhoid cream for toothpaste and just this morning I forgot my online banking password as well as the answers to all my security questions for it.