People are acknowledging his existence again and he is overjoyed
(Chicago Cubs/Twitter)
Bastian Schweinsteiger is off to a wonderful start in Chicago. He’s scored two goals in his first five matches, people are making eye contact wit him, and the birds don’t stop singing just because he’s around. The good times continued when the world champion* Chicago Cubs asked him to throw out the first pitch at their game against the Philadelphia Phillies.
As you’d expect, Schweinsteiger took the task seriously, even practicing with Chicago Fire teammate/pitching coach Dax McCarty during training. And when the moment of truth came, he threw a pretty good pitch with a huge smile on his face.
Best part of that video? When former Cubs second baseman Ryne Sandberg asks Schweinsteiger how hard he’s going to throw it, to which Schweini responds: “I am a German—full power.”
The night didn’t end there, though. During the seventh-inning stretch, Schweinsteiger and his teammates sang “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” over the Wrigley Field PA system.
*The Cubs are not “world” champions in the same way Schweinsteiger is a world champion. They are essentially just champions of the continental United States and parts of Canada.
Soccer’s popularity has grown immensely in the United States and Canada in recent years, but the majority of people in these countries still have no idea who the game’s biggest stars are. Many players, tired of being constantly hassled in their home countries, find this both endearing and refreshing. And new Chicago Fire signing Bastian Schweinsteiger appears to be one of them.
A woman in Toronto asked him for a picture, but she meant for him to take one of her with his teammates. He smiled and obliged.
This poor lady asked for a picture with the @ChicagoFire players…if she only knew Let's get 3 2moro! ⚽️#cf97
Previously in foreign stars going unrecognized in North America, there was the time when the LA Galaxy’s Robbie Keane was labeled an “unidentified fan” in a picture with then teammate David Beckham and comedian Russell Brand.
But this doesn’t just happen here. In a far more shameful example of footballers going unrecognized, there was the time ex-FIFA president Sepp Blatter couldn’t identify Alex Morgan at the 2012 Ballon d’Or gala, even though she was one of three finalists for the evening’s World Player of the Year award.
“I have experienced sexism multiple times, and I’m sure I will a lot more,” she said. “I feel like I’m fighting for female athletes. At the FIFA World Player of the Year event [in 2012], FIFA executives and FIFA president Sepp Blatter didn’t know who I was. And I was being honored as top three in the world. That was pretty shocking.”
To help hold you over as we wait to see if there will be an episode two of the Dirty Tackle podcast, we managed to get an exclusive interview with Chicago Fire signing Bastian Schweinsteiger. It didn’t go well, but it did provide at least one astounding revelation nonetheless.
Check it out here:
If you want to help us ensure that there are more episodes of the DT podcast, vote for us here (seriously, it means a lot) and be sure to subscribe to the show so you don’t miss a thing.
Negative assessments of his value may have been premature
(MLS/Twitter)
Aside from an odd question about the Chicago Fire winning the World Cup, Bastian Schweinsteiger’s move to MLS brought a familiar and increasingly tiresome cries of how signing European stars over 30 is bad for the league (spoiler: it’s not). While one match can’t do much to disprove even the most useless of arguments, Schweinsteiger was quick to prove that he still has something to offer in his debut against Montreal.
The former Germany captain started the match mere days after arriving in Chicago, since Man United have been keeping him in a preservation tank against his will for much of the last year. And with Chicago supporters eager to finally begin their World Cup campaign in earnest, Schweinsteiger gave them reason to dream.
Again, an impressive first half in his debut doesn’t necessary mean he will have a great season, but after Jose Mourinho publicly expressed his regret over his treatment of Schweinsteiger at Man United, who only managed a 0–0 draw with West Brom earlier on Saturday, the Red Devils might soon wish they kept him.
Prank or earnest query, it was embarrassing either way
(Chicago Fire/Twitter)
After being treated like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense by Manchester United, the reception Bastian Schweinsteiger received after landing in Chicago must have been a shock to his lonely, lonely system.
That was the good. As for the bad, well, that came during Schweinsteiger’s introductory press conference a bit later, when one person asked him if he will help the Chicago Fire win the World Cup.
This had to be a prank perpetrated by a local morning radio show or something. But if it wasn’t, it’s evidence of just how much of a forgotten entity the Chicago Fire and the sport itself have become over the Fire’s recent years of irrelevance.
You can really see the exact moment Schweinsteiger considers that being ignored by Man United might have been better than being subjected to questions like this.
How a sad footballer ends up joining a sadder club
(Bastian Schweinsteiger/Twitter)
Bastian Schweinsteiger will join the Chicago Fire on a one-year deal after making just four appearances for Man United this season. The following is a transcript of Schweinsteiger’s negotiations with Chicago general manager Nelson Rodriguez.
Rodriguez: Bastian, we would very much like to have you join the Fire and we’re prepared to make you a serious offer.
Schweinsteiger: Excellent! I just have one question.
Rodriguez: What’s that?
Schweinsteiger: Are you real?
Rodriguez: Am I real? If you’re asking whether my offer is real, yes, I can assure you that it is, Bastian.
Schweinsteiger: No, I mean are you a real person? I’ve been so alone that sometimes I imagine nice people who talk to me but aren’t really there.
Rodriguez: Yes, Bastian. I’m a real person. I assure you.
Schweinsteiger: That’s what the imaginary people always say, but Mr. Mourinho makes me chauffeur his children to earn my wages, so I’m going to believe you.
Rodriguez: Well, with that out of the way, we’re prepared to make you our highest paid player by a considerable margin. How does $4.5 million for one year sound?
Schweinsteiger: That sounds nice, but like Michael Carrick, money doesn’t wave back when I enter a room. Can part of my payment be a guarantee that people will say “hello” to me and ask how I am doing at least once a week?
Rodriguez: Uh, sure. That shouldn’t be a problem.
Schweinsteiger: Excellent! And can I train with the rest of the team, who will promise not to forget my name and mistake me for an overzealous fan who has illegally gained access to the training ground?
Rodriguez: Yes. Of course.
Schweinsteiger: And will I still get paid if I don’t drive the coach’s children around?
Rodriguez: You won’t be asked to do that.
Schweinsteiger: This sounds like a fantastic arrangement!
Rodriguez: That’s great to hear, Bastian. Just one more thing—you’re 24, right?
Schweinsteiger: Yes, I promise to be friendly to everyone, 24 hours a day!
Rodriguez: I didn’t quite catch all of that, but I did hear you say “yes,” so we have a deal. Can’t wait to see you in Chicago, Bastian. Be sure to pack a coat. It can get cold here!
Schweinsteiger: It can’t be as cold as the way I’ve been treated by Manchester United.
Rodriguez: This is the most depressing successful negotiation I’ve ever had. See you soon, Bastian.
Schweinsteiger: Wait—can we negotiate again tomorrow, too? I have the same amount of free time during international breaks as I do during not international breaks and this was fun.
Bastian Schweinsteiger was a forgotten specter at Old Trafford—an unwanted old shoe that Jose Mourinho hoped would wander away if he was ignored long enough. He was left out of the team photo and forced to train alone simply for committing the crime of being surplus to requirements. But throughout his year of being ignored, Schweinsteiger remained unflappably upbeat and determined to prove himself. And on Sunday his perseverance paid off.
Mourinho decided to throw Schweinsteiger a bone and give him his first start in over a year in Man United’s FA Cup match against Wigan. The former Germany captain made good on this rare opportunity to actually play football by notching an assist and scoring the final goal of the 4–0 win, earning Man of the Match honors for himself. And to cap off the day, Mourinho told reporters that Schweinsteiger will be allowed to stay with the club and will even be added to the Europa League squad.
A great evening with a fantastic win in front of our fans! Thanks to everyone for the great support! ?? #mufcpic.twitter.com/0HIHuxsgXA
This is a series of events that likely has Schweinsteiger thinking that he died of loneliness and crossed over to a heavenly afterlife at the end of last year. It’s a remarkable reversal for a player who was consistently treated like a contagious disease for so long and it has to be incredibly satisfying for him to have his determination (or stubbornness, depending on how you look at it) pay off like this.
That said, I hope no one ruins his euphoria by telling him how much he could be making if he had moved to China.
Bastian “The Ghost of Old Trafford” Schweinsteiger played his final match for Germany in a 2-0 friendly win against Finland and the evening featured a full range of emotions.
One might expect a player who has been frozen out and told to find a new club by his employer would retreat into the shadows of social media, but Bastian Schweinsteiger is doing the exact opposite. And it’s becoming uncomfortable for everyone.
Jose Mourinho has deemed Bastian Schweinsteiger surplus to requirements at Man United, but with two years left on his three-year contract, the 32-year-old German midfielder reportedly doesn’t want to move, so Mourinho has cast him out into the wilderness of training with the reserves. According to footballer turned lawyer Dejan Stefanovic, who is a member of world players’ union Fifpro, this constitutes bullying and is worthy of a prison sentence for Mourinho.
