Tag: Bayern Munich

Robert Lewandowski scores five goals in nine minutes, renders Pep Guardiola goal drunk

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Losing 1-0 to Wolfsburg at home after 45 minutes, Pep Guardiola decided to make a double switch, replacing Juan Bernat and Thiago with Javi Martinez and Robert Lewandowski, respectively. The Polish striker then proceeded to scored five goals between the 51st and 60th minutes, putting Bayern up 5-1.

That’s not five goals in nine games, nine weeks, or even nine months. He did that in nine minutes. Needless to say, this is absurd and destroys everything we thought we knew about space and time. When Lewandowski scored his fifth, you could actually see the exact moment that Pep Guardiola’s brain melted.

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A look inside Xabi Alonso and Thiago’s German lessons

Xabi Alonso and Thiago have both been with Bayern Munich for a while now and as the video above shows, their ability to speak German is coming along nicely.

In this lesson, we learn why Xabi’s shots are so powerful, that he knows a thing or two about Oktoberfest, and that if this video was about Carlos Tevez’s attempts to learn English, it would just be five minutes of an empty chair and a disappointed teacher.

In conclusion, Xabi Alonso is very handsome.