Tag: Chelsea

Basel eliminate Liverpool from Champions League, console/mock them with cartoon

Swiss champions Basel held on for a 1-1 draw with 10-man Liverpool on Tuesday, eliminating the Reds from the Champions League after beating them earlier in the group stage. Following the match, a cartoon was posted to the club’s official Instagram account depicting a battered Liverpool player being carried away by a Chelsea player (whom Basel beat twice in last season’s Champions League group stage) and a Spurs player (whom Basel eliminated from the Europa League quarterfinals on penalties in 2012/13…before losing to eventual champions Chelsea in the semifinals). Read more

Conspiracy Theory: Powerful Ball Boy Cabal determined to sabotage Chelsea

Everyone knows that the biggest villains in the game are the corrupt FIFA executives headed by scoundrel president Sepp Blatter. This is exactly what the ball boys want you to think. In truth, these evil, duplicitous children have been quietly pulling the strings from just behind the advertising hoardings for decades. The frail, confused old men they’ve propped up at the top of the sport’s governing body are nothing more than elderly puppets.

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has figured this out and has bravely attempted to reveal the ball boys’ iron-fisted control over everything that happens in football.

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Future News: Jose Mourinho says Victoria’s Secret fashion show more competitive than Spurs at Stamford Bridge

(Reuters)
(Reuters)

Spurs haven’t won at Stamford Bridge since February 1990 — a streak that continued on Wednesday with a 3-0 loss to Chelsea. This has prompted Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho to declare that the Victoria’s Secret fashion show he attended the night before was more competitive than Spurs at their London rivals’ ground.

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Football club holiday apparel that will make your eyes bleed

Louis van Gaal poses with Man United’s defenders. 

Black Friday has claimed a fresh batch of souls, which means the holiday season has arrived. Never ones to sit out a shameless cash grab, football clubs have upped their seasonal merchandising efforts in order to ensure that they can make all the inevitably disappointing signings they want during the January transfer window. And the resulting apparel looks like gunk vomited up by an elf who mixed egg nog with gingerbread meth. Which is good news for us.

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