The first leg of Man City and Real Madrid’s Champions League semifinal was stupendously boring and Cristiano Ronaldo had to sit in the stands and watch it like the rest of us due to a muscle injury. It quickly became clear that this was an outer ring of his own personal hell.
Tag: Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo announces dangerous levels of goals in his DNA
Cristiano Ronaldo scored all three goals as Real Madrid overturned a 2-0 first-leg deficit against Wolfsburg to advance to the Champions League semifinals. After proving his incredible talents yet again, Cristiano made a startling admission to the press.
What is Cristiano Ronaldo looking at?
Prior to the first leg of Real Madrid’s Champions League quarterfinal against Wolfsburg, Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured with a wild-eyed look on his face that was rather alarming. Here are some possible sights that prompted this reaction…
-Rafa Benitez sitting on Real Madrid’s bench.
-A hot tub full of hair gel.
-A future where Real Madrid follow up a win against Barcelona with a 2-0 loss to Wolfsburg in which Marcelo makes himself a laughingstock.
-Karim Benzema telling him he has his sex tape.
-Karim Benzema driving his car.
-Karim Benzema doing pretty much anything.
-The leprechaun from the movie Leprechaun.
-A glass of red wine that was just placed at the very edge of a table above his expensive new carpet.
-His inept twin brother Barry Ronaldo.
-A stack of waffles the size of an above ground pool.
-The advertisements in which he’s promoted strange Japanese products.
-His son wearing a Messi shirt.
Woman films the exact moment Cristiano Ronaldo gave her a black eye with a terrible penalty
Sarah Arcand was in attendance at Real Madrid’s 4-0 win over Sevilla and happened to be sitting right behind the goal Cristiano Ronaldo was aiming for as he lined up a penalty. Naturally, she took out her phone to film her great perspective of this moment, but what she didn’t know was that she would end up being the star of her own film as Cristiano missed the goal and hit her eye instead.
Pictures of footballers euphorically spraying themselves with cologne
It has come to my attention that footballers really enjoy spraying cologne on themselves. Usually it’s because it’s their own branded scent, but the act of spritzing it on themselves seems to elevate them to a state of absolute nirvana.
Thankfully, there are images that capture this rare moment of pure elation. The absolute best example is this one from Cristiano Ronaldo’s recent launch of his newest fragrance Legacy…
DT Exclusive: Cristiano Ronaldo’s apology to his teammates
Cristiano Ronaldo sparked outrage when he told reporters after Real Madrid’s loss to Atletico that “If we were all at my level, maybe we would be leaders.” He later clarified that comment by saying that he was talking about his injury plagued teammates’ level of fitness and not their level of play and now it has been revealed that he apologized directly to them via WhatsApp. The following is a transcript of that conversation.
It’s time for Cristiano Ronaldo to leave Spain
Atletico Madrid beat Real Madrid 1-0, leaving Real nine points behind league-leading Barcelona (and four behind Atletico) and their fans calling for club president Florentino Perez to step down.
After the match, Cristiano Ronaldo expressed his frustrations not only with the match, but with the press and Real’s season. And in doing so, he served up a damning soundbite to anyone who wanted to make use of it. Which turns out to be just about everyone.
Cristiano Ronaldo says he prefers penalties to free kicks, promptly misses important penalty
The universe is cruel. This is a fact that Cristiano Ronaldo is keenly aware of. The unrelenting existence of Lionel Messi has been bad enough, but now his own words are being used against him by the cosmos to add insult to inconvenience.
Gareth Bale can forget about getting an invite to Cristiano Ronaldo’s house
Cristiano Ronaldo was less than pleased with the questions at his press conference on Tuesday ahead of Real Madrid’s Champions League match against Roma. First, he was asked if the loved-up relationship between Leo Messi, Neymar, and Luis Suarez is the reason they’ve combined for more goals than him, Gareth Bale, and Karim Benzema. This is just expert level trolling.
The very best of the 2015 Ballon d’Or gala
Lets get nuts and do some awards for an award show, shall we?