Tag: Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo goes unnoticed as bearded street performer in Madrid

A few months back, paparazzi photos of Cristiano Ronaldo disguised as a bearded street performer in Madrid were released, but there was no explanation as to why he was doing it. Obviously it was to promote some kind of product and not to fulfill his lifelong dream of being a bearded street performer, and now we know it was for his new line of headphones and speakers…because they’re so expensive that you’ll have to supplement your income with street performances to afford them? I don’t know.

The video above shows what Ronaldo went through that day — from getting into his costume to trying to get people to pay attention to him. He even asked a woman for her phone number and she flatly denied him.

After enduring only occasional interest from passers by for some time, bearded Ronaldo found a young boy willing to kick the ball around with. It was then that he removed his disguise and all the people who tried to ignore him all afternoon suddenly swarmed him.

The kid’s stunned reaction to realizing who he was kicking the ball with is pretty great, though.

Jose Mourinho is trying to make everyone’s head explode before the season even starts

Jose Mourinho seems to have achieved a life changing realization this summer. That if you say things that turn everyone’s brains into unproductive goop before the season even starts, it will make it that much easier to keep them in a perpetual state of distraction throughout the campaign.

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Cristiano Ronaldo thinks Rafa Benitez is biased against Real Madrid’s Portuguese players and generally awful

Cristiano Ronaldo’s working relationship with new Real Madrid manager Rafa Benitez seems to be off to a bumpy start. You might remember that Ronaldo was against the club’s decision to sack Carlo Ancelotti, so when Benitez (who managed Liverpool when Ronaldo was with rivals Manchester United) arrived, they were already on the wrong foot. And the relationship only appears to be getting worse during Real Madrid’s preseason tour of Australia.

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Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, and more as old timey footballers

(paladarnegro.net)
(paladarnegro.net)

What would today’s footballers look like if they played in past eras? The excellent Paladar Negro answers that question for a slow offseason day with some wonderful trading card style photoshoppery. The mustachioed Messi is the best of the bunch, followed closely by a disgruntled Cristiano…

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Cristiano Ronaldo tells the press and his shirt to get off his back

Cristiano Ronaldo posted a video thanking fans for supporting him while lounging without a shirt on before segueing into a message to the press, whom he points out, he does not talk to.

“Just leave me alone,” he says. “Let me do my work properly like I do every year. Don’t try to damage my image, because it’s not going to happen.”

So that should take care of that.

An offseason postcard from Cristiano Ronaldo

(@Cristiano)
(@Cristiano)

Hello from beautiful St. Tropez!

I just wanted to show you what a wonderful time I am having now that the season is officially over and no football that is still being played actually counts for anything. I’m sure every other footballer wishes they were here right now, too.

This boat I am on doesn’t have a television or internet access, so I can only assume that the Copa del Rey final and Champions League final were both canceled and Lionel Messi was arrested for being a witch. Very sad, I know, but I promise you that Real Madrid will return to both cup finals next season! As long as something inconceivable like Rafa Benitez becoming our manager and making Gareth Bale the focus of the team doesn’t happen, but that’s a silly thought and probably evidence that I’ve been in the sun too long. Anyway, I look forward to another season of working with the brilliant Carlo Ancelotti, who led us to La Decima just one short year ago!

The water, the people, and the experiences here are all beautiful! This is what life is all about. Not team trophies. It’s about spending quality time with friends and laughing and winning individual trophies like the Pichichi award for being La Liga’s top scorer. Winning more than three Ballon d’Or awards is just showing off, and, frankly, quite selfish, though.

I hope everyone enjoys the offseason break and makes sure to watch the Women’s World Cup, which begins on the 6th of June and is the only thing happening that day.

Top scoringly yours,

Cristiano