Tag: David Luiz

David Luiz and Diego Costa give out hugs to Stamford Bridge staff

When you’ve got a 10-point lead in February, you just want to hug whoever you can


Normally when you see David Luiz or Diego Costa coming at you, you know that pain is sure to follow. But since Chelsea have the Premier League title all but wrapped up, they’re taking the time to try and change that perception amongst the staff at Stamford Bridge.

As they arrived for Chelsea’s match against Swansea on Saturday, both players surprised a different staffer with a hug.

Costa went on to score the third goal in Chelsea’s 3–1 win, so these pre-match hugs might become a ritual. Hopefully they become less and less terrifying for these staffers with time.


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David Luiz continues to terrorize Chelsea TV reporter

Leave the poor guy alone, David!

Diego Costa looking jealous that he didn’t get to the guy first (Chelsea/Twitter)

Back in November, David Luiz wrapped up unsuspecting Chelsea TV presenter Lee Parker from behind as he did a training ground report, causing Parker’s body to release an unnatural groan of pain and surprise.

Well, three months later, Parker let his guard down again and Luiz took full advantage, this time hauling him down to the ground in his finely tailored suit.

It might be time Parker considers a move to Liverpool TV. The players there have proven this season that they can’t tackle anyone.


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David Luiz does magic tricks in the dressing room

The Chelsea defender has always been full of surprises


David Luiz is revealing one hidden talent after another this season. First by proving he can defend and now by doing card tricks in the dressing room.

With the cameras rolling and his teammates gathered around, the Brazilian defender successfully pulled off a post-match card trick that would make David Blaine jealous (assuming he gets jealous very easily).

This is what it’s come to for Chelsea under Antonio Conte. Atop the table with a six-point cushion, a club record 11 straight wins with 25 goals scored and just two conceded in that span. After a while you need David Luiz to do some card tricks just to stave off the boredom of domination.

Anyway, Luiz now joins Mario Balotelli and Rafa Benitez as football’s top off-the-pitch magicians.


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David Luiz tackles unsuspecting Chelsea TV reporter

Dirty Tackle of the Day

He’s got that look in his eye…

Never let David Luiz lurk behind you. This is something everyone should know by now, but one Chelsea TV presenter didn’t learn until he got a surprise from a stone-faced Luiz while going about his business at the club’s Cobham training complex.

Be sure you have the sound on when you watch, because the noise that escapes his body as it happens is the best part.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMrf5-MhWTS/

After this, he affixed a rearview mirror to the camera so he never has to suffer this terror (or make that noise) again.


Luis Suarez provokes the wrath of Zlatan

During the first leg of PSG and Barcelona’s Champions League quarterfinal, Luis Suarez nutmegged David Luiz and went on to score twice in a span of 13 minutes. Twice he did this! Twice!

Though Barcelona went on to concede a late own goal in the 3-1 away win, Luiz’s greatest embarrassment since last summer’s World Cup, naturally was the focus of the night. After all, Suarez even appeared to literally spank his bottom at one point.

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We live in a terrible world where David Luiz feels the need to apologize for a great moment in his career

David Luiz scored an important and unexpected goal, helping his team advance to the quarterfinals of the Champions League despite being a man down for 90 minutes. Naturally, he celebrated that goal, expressing the pure joy that we all chase, but experience far too rarely. And since this all happened to occur while he was facing his former club and doing so in their stadium, he ended up apologizing for his celebration. Because we live in a miserable world where people feel compelled to apologize for expressions of happiness.

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David Luiz won’t celebrate if he scores against Chelsea, but he does call Mourinho and Blanc ugly

David Luiz is a man who likes to spread and express joy, but, sadly, he has chosen a profession where one man’s joy is too often interpreted as a personal insult to others. This is a result of the #RESPECT syndrome and football is currently being choked by its bitter self-importance.

Players are now expected to react as if they just watched the euthanization of their childhood pet when they score against their former club in order to satisfy the delicate sensibilities of far too many supporters and members of the press. So when David Luiz was asked what he would do if he scores against his old club when PSG face Chelsea in the Champions League round of 16, there was only one answer he was allowed to give.

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