United Passions, a film produced by FIFA about FIFA and for FIFA with a title befitting a softcore porn flick, was first released last year in select markets (Serbia! Portugal! Hungary!) and it was received as poorly as a vanity project for a reviled criminal organization posing as a non-profit should be. It has a 2.9 rating (out of 10) on IMDB and a 0.5 rating (out of 10) on Rotten Tomatoes. It reportedly cost FIFA between $20 million and $30 million to make.
And now, mere days after the film’s hero announced his plan to surrender the FIFA presidency following major arrests and evidence of decades of corruption, United Passions is being released in theaters across the United States — the very same country responsible for setting FIFA’s previously impenetrable headquarters on fire. (UPDATE: According to The Hollywood Reporter, it made $607 in its opening weekend. Six hundred and seven. That means about 60 people paid to watch it and/or sit in an air conditioned room during its first two days of release.)
Given these hilarious circumstances, the film’s director, Frederic Auburtin (who was brought to the project by United Passions star and friend of Sepp Blatter, Gerard Depardieu), is promoting its US release by talking about how much he wanted to undermine its message.
From the New York Times:
“I didn’t have the freedom to do a Michael Moore movie at all,” he said. “If I started the movie with flashlights and sirens coming to Zurich, like what happened last Wednesday — I knew if we would write any line like this, everyone would say: ‘What are you doing, man? Come on.’ ”
Mr. Auburtin said he would have preferred to delve deeper into the FIFA darkness. “But I accept the job,” he said. “I know FIFA is producing the film. As we say in France, don’t be more royalist than the king: Don’t be the king if you are not the king.”
Auburtin and Tim Roth, who plays Sepp Blatter, both say they tried to subtly hint at the corruption that has since made headlines around the world within the film. And there’s only one way to find out if that’s the case: by actually watching the damn thing.
