Tag: Dirty Tackle

Paul Pogba makes being stuck in a hotel for a month seem fun

Before France’s 2-0 win over Germany in the Euro 2016 semifinals, Paul Pogba gave the France Football Federation’s YouTube channel a look at what he does on tournament off days. After being cooped up in the team hotel for about a month straight already, you’d think there would be a lot of boredom and misery, but for Pogba it’s a lot music, dancing, and massages.

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Antoine Griezmann takes a bow after proving himself to be the star of Euro 2016 on and off the pitch

So much of Antoine Griezmann’s is a response to disappointments. He was forced to move to Spain at a young age after being rejected from French clubs for being “too small” and now he’s France’s top scorer at the Euros. He was in tears on the pitch after France’s quarterfinal loss to Germany at the 2014 World Cup and at Euro 2016 he scored both goals to beat them 2-0 in the semifinals. At the Champions League final in May, he missed an important penalty for Atletico Madrid as they lost to Real Madrid and in the match against Germany he converted an important penalty to open the scoring.

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France make Mesut Özil regret his pre-match banter

One of the most notable aspects of this expanded edition of the Euros is the imbalance of the knockout stage. Part of that has been down to the new structure of the tournament with 24 teams and four of six third-place finishers in the group stage advancing, and part has been big teams starting slow and smaller ones playing out of their skin. But the result was Germany battling Italy in the quarterfinals while France made easy work of Iceland.

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Lionel Messi sentenced to 21 months in prison or two more cup finals with Gonzalo Higuain as a teammate

The Court of Catalonia has sentenced Lionel Messi to 21 months in prison or playing two more major cup finals with Gonzalo Higuain as a teammate. Messi and his father, who was sentenced to 21 months in prison or going three consecutive hours without telling anyone that he is Lionel Messi’s father, were found guilty of not paying taxes on the Barcelona star’s image rights, owing €4 million to the government.

In Spain, prison sentences of less than two years are usually suspended for first-time offenders like the Messis, but Lionel told the court he would “rather spend 21 years in prison” than endure even one more cup final with Higuain there to ruin everything. Messi recently retired from international football after losing a third cup final in as many years with Argentina, thanks in part to Higuain fluffing a golden scoring opportunity, also for the third final in a row. Messi went on to miss Argentina’s first penalty in the Copa America Centenario final’s decisive shootout against Chile, as he was surely preoccupied by thoughts of murdering Higuain with a waffle iron.

When asked for comment, Diego Maradona said, “I owed the Italian government €30 million in back taxes and I didn’t need my daddy to help me do it, either. So Messi has a long way to go before he can be considered as good as me on or off the pitch. He just doesn’t have the personality to be a leader in tax evasion.”

Russia internationals punished by clubs for spending absurd amount on champagne after Euro 2016 exit

Russia’s Aleksandr Kokorin and Pavel Mamaev have been punished by their respective clubs for reportedly spending €250,000(!!!) on 500 bottles of top-shelf Armand de Brignac champagne for everyone in a Monte Carlo nightclub after their nation’s Euro 2016 group-stage exit. Oh, and they had the champagne brought out as the Russian national anthem played in the club. Thankfully, there is video.

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What Cristiano Ronaldo wanted to say about Lionel Messi’s international retirement

As he prepares for Portugal’s Euro 2016 semifinal, Cristiano Ronaldo has been successfully pestered into commenting on Lionel Messi’s recent international retirement. The following is what he actually said, along with the bits that he didn’t say, but totally wanted to.

“[Messi’s] taken a tough decision and people must understand it.”

“It would also be great if they encouraged him to retire from club football, as well. You know, because playing any sort of football might remind him of playing for Argentina and make him feel bad. And no one wants that.”

“He isn’t used to defeats or disappointments; not even finishing second.”

“Maybe if he finished second with Barcelona a little more often, doing so three times in a row with Argentina wouldn’t have been so devastating for him. Basically, everyone in Argentina should blame Barcelona for this. It’s all their fault.”

“Missing a penalty doesn’t make you a bad player.”

“But if you do it in the shootout of a major tournament final, you should be forced to hand over all your Ballon d’Or awards to the runner-up the years you won. And that happens to be me. I’ll even pay the postage because I feel so bad for him.”

“It’s not nice seeing Messi in tears and I hope he returns to the national side.”

“…just so my boy Higuain can stomp on his dreams a fourth time. Hahahahahahaha this is better than Christmas!”

A fond farewell to several particular Iceland fans

Iceland were eliminated from Euro 2016 in the quarterfinals by host nation France, ending a spectacular run that has made them the darlings of the footballing world. The team itself was a special one, but their fans — the 8% of the Icelandic population that traveled to France to support their nation in its first ever major tournament — also played a big part in building the mystique of Icelandic football. So here’s a tribute to a few in particular.

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