Tag: Dirty Tackle

The opening match of the Copa America Centenario is now a thing that has happened

At a purely objectively level, few people thought the U.S. would open the Copa America Cashgrabenario by beating Colombia. Though FIFA rankings are deeply flawed, this was still the No. 31 team in the world facing the No. 3 team in the world.

But memories of advancing through a difficult group at the 2014 World Cup and months of hype leading up to a special tournament designed specifically to be played in the United States encouraged a uniquely American brand of optimism to grow in the lead-up to the tournament’s first match. And then an underwhelming Colombia beat the U.S. 2-0, with goals from a corner kick and a penalty that resulted from a handball. Oh, and James Rodriguez left with an injury in the 73rd minute.

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FC Dallas and Houston Dynamo tried to play in a swimming pool

Remember the Bishop from Caddyshack who played a round of golf in a biblical storm? Well apparently that guy is real and now an MLS referee. The match officials for FC Dallas v Houston Dynamo decided to attempt to play in the worst conditions this side of Noah’s Arc. 

The two sides actually played four minutes of handsfree water polo before the match was finally halted. 

Look at this nonsense…

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Zlatan will only reveal his next destination when he tires of the rumors

Despite intense speculation that Zlatan Ibrahimovic is going to reunite with old pal and fellow Coalition Against Pep member Jose Mourinho at Manchester United, he still hasn’t given any concrete indication as to what his plans for next season might be.

When asked about when he might reveal his next strategic base for global domination, the Sweden captain said, “I want you to still write a lot of stories, so I get excited when I see them because I want to see who is making up the best stories and when I’m tired of it, I’ll let you know.”

So that confirms it. Zlatan will never reveal where he will play next. Because if there’s one thing that we know for sure it’s that Zlatan never tires of stories about Zlatan.

U.S. club introduces abomination of fashion seersucker shirt

(@gorafters)
(@gorafters)

The bizarre kit arms race happening in lower divisions across the world continues with Shreveport, Louisiana NPSL (the U.S. fourth division) club Rafters FC. Perhaps inspired by Spanish side Cultural Leonesa’s tuxedo kit, Rafters have given the on-pitch formal wear idea a southern U.S. spin with the seersucker kit, complete with clownish bowtie graphic.

From the Wikipedia entry on seersucker:

The fabric was originally worn by the poor in the U.S. until preppy undergraduate students began wearing it in the 1920s in an air of reverse snobbery. Damon Runyon wrote that his new habit for wearing seersucker was “causing much confusion among my friends. They cannot decide whether I am broke or just setting a new vogue.”

I’m sure Rafters FC will cause similar confusion when they wear this thing.

Jose Mourinho makes awkward first visit to Man United’s training complex

With his contract signed, image rights squared away, and new Instagram account pumping out content, Jose Mourinho was all set to check out Manchester United’s Carrington training complex on Monday.

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