Tag: Dirty Tackle

DTotD: Tippeligaen player sent off for shoving his own goalkeeper

In a Norwegian Tippeligaen match between Haugesund and Stromsgodset, alliterative midfielder Haris Hajradinovic conceded a penalty, angering his goalkeeper, Per Kristian Bratveit. Well, Hajradinovic didn’t appreciate Bratveit’s criticism, so he shoved him away. And when Bratveit didn’t back down, Hajradinovic shoved him in the face. This earned him a red card.

Bratveit went on to save the ensuing penalty, but Haugesund still lost 2-0. According to the Guardian, this indiscriminate violence is becoming the club’s MO. They already have two red cards and 11 yellows in their first three matches this season. Sergio Ramos could fit in nicely with them.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. 

Louis van Gaal attempts to declare his entire Man United reign an April Fools’ prank

Louis van Gaal used his April 1 press conference to attempt to claim that everything he’s done in his nearly two full seasons as manager of Manchester United has been part of an elaborate April Fools’ Day prank.

Van Gaal walked into the press room at the club’s training complex and immediately shouted the words “April Fools’!” When asked what he was referring to, the Dutchman said “Everything!” When he saw that no one in the room believed him, he muttered “Damn, I thought that might work.” He then added, “It was worth a try.”

After an awkward, prolonged silence, the gathered journalists moved forward with their questioning of Van Gaal as if his strange outburst never happened. Not taking the hint, Van Gaal answered each of their questions simply by saying “April Fools’!”

The journalists quickly tired of his routine and stopped asking him questions all together. Van Gaal then slammed his fists on the table, shouted “Fine!” and marched towards the door.

Finally, he turned around pointed at everyone in the room and said, “You’re all the April Fools! And May Fools and June Fools!” Then he left.

Those present all agreed that it was Van Gaal’s least embarrassing interaction with the press since arriving in Manchester.

Disgruntled fans of Brazilian club crash training session, challenge team to a friendly

Portuguesa

Fans of Brazilian club Portuguesa have come up with a novel way of expressing their dissatisfaction with the season’s results and the team’s underperforming players. About 15 supporters turned up to a training session in red clown noses and full kits of their own and challenged the team to a friendly, confident that they could beat the struggling professionals.

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Phil Neville: Assistant to disaster

Gary Neville has been sacked by Valencia after just 120 days on the job. Naturally, he has received criticism for his embarrassingly brief reign — both from Valencia fans and his former colleagues in the media — but one man has largely flown under the radar in all this. And that man is Gary’s brother and assistant at Valencia, Phil Neville. The black widow of football management.

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Jurgen Klinsmann gives the U.S. everything they don’t know they want

Imagine a world in which the U.S. men’s national team win every match they’re supposed to win. They’d roll past all the CONCACAF minnows and only ever really do battle with Mexico and in friendlies against South American or European competition. World Cup qualification would be a given — a joke even.

“Will the U.S. beat Guatemala?” one fan would ask. “Oh, I don’t know!” another fan would reply, sarcastically, and then they’d laugh and laugh and laugh as they check their email inboxes for World Cup hotel room confirmations three years before the event while in attendance at an NBA game instead of watching the U.S. because, come on, of course they’re going to win.

In this world, most supporters — and not just the casual ones — only give the team their full attention every four years when they inevitably appear in the World Cup and play matches that are actually interesting. In this world, being a fan of the U.S. men’s national team is boring.

Enter Jurgen Klinsmann — a manager who delivers the varied and unique entertainment U.S. fans and press alike will never admit to craving at this point in the country’s development of the sport. He fosters debates that Americans simply cannot resist and never get sick of, to the benefit of journalists and social media platforms alike.

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