Getting sued by the NFL for giving the finger during the Super Bowl halftime show is enough to make anyone try to be a little more subtle with their subversive acts. But as MIA has found out, subtlety isn’t enough to save you from sports entities’ threats of legal action.
A groom played the old switcheroo with his wedding reception toast, making it sound like he was saying wonderful things about his new wife and then revealing that he was actually talking about Mesut Ozil. Somehow, the couple didn’t immediately get a divorce.
To reward the groom’s bravery and the bride’s good humor, Mesut Ozil himself announced on Twitter that he would congratulate them in person and bring them to an Arsenal match.
Aston Villa only managed a 1-1 draw with League Two’s Wycombe Wanderers in the third round of the FA Cup, forcing a replay and extending their winless streak to 10 matches.
This was the last straw for many Villa fans, who have watched their club settle at the bottom of the Premier League table and look completely rudderless despite a managerial change in early November. So the group that traveled to Adams Park expressed their fury to the players as they boarded the bus home after this latest disappointment.
The intense scrutiny and heavy criticism that has come with his time at Manchester United has taken its toll on Louis van Gaal and reduced him to calling all of his players “Michael.” First there was “Michael” Smalling (a mistake he first made last July with Smalling right next to him, then again in November), now there’s “Michael” Keane.
Van Gaal went on to admit that Michael is somehow an “easy name” for him. And that he has also now given Chris Smalling the nickname “Pele.”
At this point, it seems cruel to make fun of him. Clearly the man needs help. Michael “Maradona” Woodward needs to put him out of his misery and sack him before this goes any further.
In 2012, there was Anfield cat: a feline that rose to international fame by invading the pitch during a Premier League match between Liverpool and Spurs. It happened again at Anfield in 2014 (and previously way back in 1964), but now we have evidence that there is also an Everton following amongst the cats of Merseyside, as well.
During Everton’s FA Cup third round match against Dagenham and Redbridge, a cat invaded the pitch and evaded Everton keeper Joel Robles’ attempt to capture it.
Liverpool visited League Two side Exeter City in the third round of the FA Cup and like Liverpool players’ hamstrings these days, the accommodations were tight. So tight, in fact, that Jurgen Klopp had to give his pre-match interview in the tea room, giving us the delightful image above.
At the end of the discussion on his side’s injury problems and rag-tag starting XI (look at these squad numbers!), Klopp lamented the fact that there was no cup with his name on it.
Yaya Toure won the African Player of the Year award four years in a row and after winning the Africa Cup of Nations with the Ivory Coast for the first time in 2015, he thought he was a lock to make it five in a row. But he didn’t. Instead, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and his fabulous lapels became the first player from Gabon to claim the award for his incredible play with Borussia Dortmund.
In an effort to improve on his underwhelming free kick conversion rate, Cristiano Ronaldo decided to have a little (very little) competition with his son in their backyard.
Using a miniature ball and goal, the two Cristianos set up a wall of toys, including an Incredible Hulk (the green guy, not the Brazilian footballer) figure and a penguin. After bouncing his first attempt into the wall, big Cristiano ended up winning (although, the Hulk had fallen over, so it probably shouldn’t have counted). Naturally, he celebrated by doing that “SIIIIII!” thing he did at last year’s Ballon d’Or gala, which is apparently a thing he’s still doing.
Maybe if he just imagines a wall made of penguins he’ll have more success with free kicks at work, too.
LAFC are set to join MLS in 2018, but until now, all they had were roughly eight million celebrity part-owners. All that has changed, however, as they have unveiled a rather gorgeous crest and Will Ferrell as celebrity part-owner No. eight million and one.
First the crest…
Back in November, we here at Dirty Tackle, your foremost source for serious and deeply researched journalism, reported that Jurgen Klopp was rejuvenating Liverpool with his powerful hugs. We now accept that this assertion could not have been more wrong and we regret the error.
