Isn't being a German goalkeeper facing an England team enough?!
Tag: England
Jamie Vardy can’t stop beating himself up
Someone needs to protect Jamie Vardy from himself
Jamie Vardy came off the bench to score the second goal in England’s 2–0 win over Lithuania on Sunday, but that doesn’t mean he was entirely happy with his performance. At one point, he headbutted the ground—and this was after he had already scored.
This is far from the first time Vardy has physically punished himself during a match, though. As we discussed on the first episode of the Dirty Tackle podcast, Vardy punched himself in the face (repeatedly) after a miss in Leicester’s Champions League win over Sevilla.
He also did it during England’s match against Turkey last year.
And during Leicester match against Hull City…
And, perhaps most bizarrely, he smashed his FIFA 16 player card over his head during a press event.
This type of behavior shouldn’t be shocking from someone who drinks Skittle infused vodka, but the man needs to be required to wear a helmet and boxing gloves. He’s going to be the first athlete to retire from self-induced concussions.
Tottenham appear to be building a fancy airport instead of a stadium
A microbrewery, the UK’s longest bar, fine dining, and more stuff that has nothing to do with football
Tottenham launched a new microsite on Friday, hawking the premium lounges of their new stadium, which is set to be complete for the 2018/19 season. At least, they claim it’s a stadium. But from the looks of the computer generated images they’ve created, it looks more like a high-end airport terminal.
The H Club will be for members only and will “offer a range of Michelin-star calibre dining experiences.”
“I heard there was a football match happening somewhere in this building.”
“Surely you jest!”
The Tunnel Club (which will cost a more £9,000-per-year to join) will be “the first purpose-built, glass-walled tunnel club in the UK.” Ideal for people who think footballers are best viewed like animals in a zoo.
“Ha! These gentlemen have all worn matching clothes!”
The first stadium microbrewery in the world? You know it’s going to have that.
“I bought a season ticket just for the rotisserie chicken!”
A loge section that looks like something out of Star Trek: The Next Generation? Got it.
“The bars around each table help limit human interaction!”
It will even have the longest bar in a UK stadium.
“That green space down there really should be turned into conference rooms.”
Tottenham’s new stadium: Watch a Spurs match…or catch a flight to Dubai. I’m not really sure.
Southampton teach Liverpool a lesson about social media karma
The Saints get retribution for Liverpool’s Twitter flippancy
In the lead up to the first leg of their EFL Cup semifinal against Southampton, Liverpool Tweeted a bit of promotional artwork. Take a look:
At first glance, it appears to be nothing more than a nice change of pace to the usual stream of promotional images, but upon closer inspection, a couple of things stand out. One, every Liverpool player represented is someone the club cherrypicked from Southampton. And two, “Southhampton” is spelled wrong. This combines the intentional and unintentional for a double whammy of disrespect.
Liverpool subsequently tweeted a corrected version of the image with the spelling mistake fixed, but the same group of players shown, demonstrating that they do want to get their opponents’ name right when they’re bantering at them.
But Southampton went on to prove to Liverpool that they don’t need the players they’ve lost by beating them 1–0 in the match. And it was a goal from Nathan Redmond that did in the Reds.
Of course, there’s still a second leg to play in order to decide who will face Man United or Hull City in the final and to ensure that doesn’t go wrong, Liverpool might want to sacrifice their remaining stock of Rickie Lambert shirts or something.
Vaping managers and diving Spider-Men: Oddities of the FA Cup third round
Strange things happen in the FA Cup and not all of them are magic
The FA Cup is a unique competition where the world’s top pros intermingle with the part-timers in the hope of winning the world’s oldest football tournament. A few people have made the third round of this year’s FA Cup campaign a bit more unique than usual, though.
For example, Paul Doswell, manager for non-league side Sutton United, was casually vaping on the touchline during his side’s scoreless draw with Wimbledon to force a replay.
Back in the old days, it wasn’t uncommon to see a manager smoke a cigarette, cigar, or pipe in the dugout, but modern stadium regulations and health concerns have largely made this practice a thing of the past for just about everyone except Napoli manager Maurizio Sarri.
But Paul Doswell likes to do things differently. He even pays Sutton to be their manager. So to see him puffing on a vape pen during an FA Cup match is actually one of the less weird things he does.
Not to be outdone, recently sacked former Crystal Palace manager Alan Pardew was in attendance wearing a cravat and looking like he sailed up to Gander Green Lane in his yacht with Mrs. Howell.
Meanwhile, Wolves fans had a steward crowd surfing before their match at Stoke, which the visitors won 2–0.
A day earlier, Man City’s 5–0 win at West Ham was capped off by a bizarre scene where one pitch invader tackled another, who was dressed as Spider-Man.
Realizing that nothing could top this, the referee decided to forego added time and end the match here.
https://www.gettyimages.com/license/631107772
The FA Cup has become a music festival without the music.
Youth teams in financial danger after FA bans tattoo shop and night club sponsors
Because puritanical moralizing is apparently more important than letting kids play the game
The business of football is difficult when you don’t have a billionaire or an entire nation state bankrolling the endeavor—especially when the FA won’t even let you keep the sponsors you do have. And that’s the predicament Kings Heath Concorde find themselves in.
The club where former England internationals Joleon Lescott and Darius Vassell got their start could be forced to eliminate their U-10s team since the FA doesn’t approve of having a tattoo shop as their shirt sponsor. The FA has also taken issue with a local nightclub sponsoring their U-8s team.
From the Birmingham Mail:
“What next?” asked Warstone Body Art studio boss Simon Mabbott. “Are they going to ban Premier League footballers who have tattoos? Because that would be pretty much all of them.”
And a spokesman for Arena described the ban as ‘bonkers’. “We are not just a nightclub, we have two function rooms,” she said.
“Are the FA worried that the under-eights and their mates are going to try to get into the place?”
Without these sponsorships, the club can’t afford the teams’ kit costs.
Club president Russell Jukes rightly points out that fast food chains pose much more harm to children of this age than tattoo shops and night clubs, yet there are no rules against them sponsoring youth teams.
In other news, the FA recently announced a 12-year, £400 million kit deal with Nike.
Arsenal sent Carlisle United a Christmas card for some reason
The most festive mystery of our time
There are always a few holidays cards that make you say “Really? From them?” upon opening and the same goes for football clubs, apparently.
Carlisle United, who play in League Two, were so delighted with the card they received from Arsenal, who have only played Carlisle five times in their 130-year existence, that they tweeted a photo of it.
Why would Arsenal send Carlisle a holiday card? Maybe they sent one to every club in England. Maybe they just wanted to show off their goofy reindeer sweaters to as many people as possible. Or maybe someone at the Emirates couldn’t bring themselves to address one to Chelsea and sent it to Carlisle instead. Whatever the case, Arsenal’s response to this tweet only created more questions.
Of all the gifs…why that one?!?! What kind of mind games are you playing here, Arsenal?
Wayne Rooney apologizes for being pictured looking like hell at a wedding reception
Really, Wayne? This is the one you’re sorry for?
Following England’s 3–0 win over Scotland on Friday, Wayne Rooney was photographed at a wedding party that happened to be taking place at the hotel used by the England team. Still wearing his team gear, Rooney was photographed looking sloppier than usual with wine stained lips. The Sun published these photos and Rooney was held out of England’s 2–2 draw with Spain, supposedly for unrelated reasons.
Now, Rooney’s representatives have issued a statement on his behalf:
“Naturally Wayne is sorry that pictures taken with fans have been published today.
“Although it was a day off for the whole squad and staff, he fully recognises that the images are inappropriate for someone in his position.
“Earlier today Wayne spoke privately to both Gareth Southgate and Dan Ashworth to unreservedly apologise.
“He would like to further extend that apology to any young fans who have seen these pictures.”
Really, Wayne? These are the images you’re sorry your young fans might see?
What about this one?
Or this one?
https://www.gettyimages.com/license/102842757
Or this one?
Or this one?
Or this one?
If you’re going to set a precedent for apologizing every time you’re caught doing something embarrassing on camera, you’re going to be a busy man, Wayne. Then again, this could be a more productive use of your time than actually playing football.
Sam Allardyce’s guide to remaining undefeated as England manager
This is a follow-up to “Sam Allardyce’s guide to being England manager.” But this guide has been written by Big Sam himself.
There are three certainties in life: Death, taxes, and England managers getting sacked for disgracing the nation. I knew that going into the job and I was smart enough to work the system so that I would go down as England’s only undefeated manager ever. Here’s how I did it…
Iceland shirts are selling best in Scotland, home to England’s most dedicated trolls
It should come as no surprise that Iceland kitmaker Errea has been unable to keep up with global demand for the shirts of Euro 2016’s undisputed darlings. It should also come as no surprise that the place where demand is highest for the shirt of the nation that stunned and embarrassed England by beating them 2-1 in the round of 16 is Scotland, the place where trolling England is a national pastime (especially when they’re the only nation of the British Isles not to qualify for a major tournament).