Tag: Jack Wilshere

Jack Wilshere excited to be injured for Bournemouth

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Frequently injured Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere has joined Bournemouth on a season-long loan and he is eager to not play for his new club.

“I’m thrilled to join Bournemouth,” Wilshere said upon arrival. “I had several options, but this is definitely where I’d like to be injured for the majority of the season. The benches here are first class and the physios are wonderful people. I know I’ll enjoy hanging out with them while my new teammates actually play football.”

The 24-year-old England international has only made 101 league appearances for Arsenal over the last six seasons, including just three last year after breaking his fibula during preseason. Now healthy, Wilshere knows it’s just a matter of time until his next injury.

“Maybe I’ll play a few games for Bournemouth before I get back into the real work of rehabbing whatever I break or tear next,” Wilshere said. “But I know why I’m here and what the fans expect of me: to constantly be injured and maybe be questioned by police about a late-night altercation of some sort. I’m confident I can deliver.”

Arsenal players trolled by children, Per Mertesacker proves untrollable

Following the brilliance of Hector Bellerin and Nacho Monreal’s match commentary, Arsenal’s YouTube channel has struck gold once again. This time, the players were the marks as children were tasked with subjecting them to uncomfortable interviews.

Jack Wilshere, Per Mertesacker, Bellerin, and Calum Chambers first had to deal with their younger interviewers’ disappointment that they weren’t Aaron Ramsey or Mesut Ozil. Bellerin, in particular, wasn’t too empathetic. Then came some tough trivia questions. Well, they were supposed to be tough, but Mertesacker certainly didn’t think so, as he surprised his prankster with the answers.

Wilshere, meanwhile, just looked like he wanted to headbutt the kid questioning him.

Don’t mess with Mertesacker. He knows his African capitals.

Jack Wilshere’s stunner against Slovenia and the greatest England goals ever

Jack Wilshere scored two exceptional goals during England’s 3-2 win against Slovenia in Euro qualifiers. His second was the best of the bunch though, and it earned high praise from Match of the Day’s Gary Lineker, illustrating the widespread tendency to confuse the latest great goal for the greatest.

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Dimitar Berbatov lectures Jack Wilshere about smoking

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Well hello there, Jack Wilshere.

I see you’ve been caught smoking again. I’ve been caught smoking, too. But there is one very important difference between you and I in these situations. I look suave and debonair while doing it (as I do whenever I do anything), whereas you look like a truant schoolboy who tells his parents to shut up whenever they say hello to his friends. This is part of the reason why you get in trouble for these things and I do not.

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