Tag: Juventus

Zlatan Ibrahimovic climbed mountains instead of watching his former teammates win the Champions League

Climbing mountains 1.

A photo posted by IAmZlatan (@iamzlatanibrahimovic) on

Zlatan Ibrahimovic famously said “A World Cup without me is nothing to watch” after Sweden lost their 2014 World Cup qualifying playoff to Portugal (he did later attend a World Cup match, though), and it seems he feels the same way about Champions League finals.

Zlatan, who has still never won the Champions League, spent one tumultuous season with Barcelona back in 2009/10. But as his former club prepared to face Juventus in the final, Zlatan posted photos of himself climbing mountains in Sweden to his Instagram account. Read more

Thomas Vermaelen gets a Champions League winner’s medal for playing one La Liga match this season

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When we last left injury plagued defender Thomas Vermaelen, he was celebrating Barcelona’s La Liga title even though he hadn’t played a single minute for the club to that point. In the three weeks since then, a lot has happened though. He played 63 minutes in Barca’s meaningless final La Liga match of the season and for his considerable trouble, he got to celebrate their Copa Del Rey title and he collected a Champions League winner’s medal after watching his teammates beat Juventus 3-1.

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Luis Suarez scores Champions League winner, Andrea Pirlo cries

Because this is real life, the winning goal of the 2015 Champions League final was scored by a serial biter coming off a four month ban from all footballing activities for a team with a long impending transfer ban, leading a universally beloved figure to cry in front of the whole world. In other words, Luis Suarez scored the decisive goal in Barcelona’s 3-1 win against Juventus.

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Champions League final superlatives: the individual standouts you need to know (and some you don’t)

The Champions League final is upon us once again, pitting two of Europe’s legendary clubs — Juventus and Barcelona — against each other in Berlin. Both clubs have already won domestic cup and league titles this season, so this match will decide who will win a historic treble. But the most important honors are being decided here right now by me.

These are the 2015 Champions League final superlatives…

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A Juventus fan is walking 683 miles for a Champions League final ticket

Before beating Real Madrid in the Champions League semifinals, Juventus asked fans on Twitter what they would do if the club reached the final for the first time since 2003. One man said he would walk from Turin to Berlin, the site of the final, and the club decided to take him up on it.

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Alvaro Morata is wearing sunglasses on the pitch now

(AP Photo/Luca Bruno)
(AP Photo/Luca Bruno)

The guy scores two goals to beat his former club in the Champions League semifinals and suddenly he’s wearing sunglasses on the pitch like he’s hot stuff. We see how it is, Alvaro Morata.

Meanwhile, life back in Serie A is not treating Roberto Mancini nearly as well. When Inter missed a chance to take a lead against Juve in the second half, Mancini ended up like this…

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Madrid ball boy plays keep away from Patrice Evra

In the latest show of the Ball Boy Cabal’s tyrannical rule over football, a member of the Madrid faction flexed their impudence during the second leg of the Champions League semifinal between Real Madrid and Juventus.

As Patrice Evra attempted to collect the ball, a ball boy on the other side of the advertising board reached over and pulled it away from the Juve defender. This prompted a small scuffle for the ball that wasted the time of people all over the world, once again proving that Jose Mourinho was right and ball boys are the worst people on the planet.

The sooner we replace them all with ball retrieving robots, the better off football will be.

If you know anyone who is a ball boy or has ever expressed an interest in becoming one, please report them to the local authorities and, with any luck, they will be put in jail forever so they can no longer be a scourge on society.